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Sometimes the intensity of mixed emotions can leave you feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Unexpected and unwanted emotions can be deeply upsetting and confusing as a new parent.\n"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b1e50317f609","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c150155ba9690","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Having a baby can be a time of confronting and uncomfortable emotional extremes. Often there’s a disconnect between our expectations of parenthood and reality.\n"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"78315ba4a855","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"26205d6531280","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"You might feel moments of joy and grief. Flashes of resentment and rage may feel just as strong as moments of love and gratitude for your new baby, and your new life together."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a3d21b182d39","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6ffd7f6b41b80","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Parenthood teaches us how to feel, contain and move through conflicting emotions in unfamiliar yet creative ways.\n"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"87a7b863081b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d95f87deefdf0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"We often hear from new parents who say they feel guilty and ashamed for feeling sad or angry. Parents tell us they feel unable to tell anyone how they’re feeling."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"786dcf6aa090","_type":"quote","quote":"I’m supposed to feel happy and be enjoying this time of my life! If my partner or family knew how I really felt they’d be horrified."},{"_key":"7dffb8faddd2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6512c6730c380","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It may feel tempting to push strong unwanted feelings aside or deny them altogether. Yet these emotions don’t disappear - often they simmer under the surface and grow stronger.\n"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"afb11c5f2fc9","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a0ae53380d5c0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"As a new parent, it’s also common to feel like you don’t have time to sit with an emotion and reflect on why you’re feeling that way, because your baby needs your frequent attention and care.\n"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4609649e0bf9","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6d858356d6fa0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When it comes to the new parent priority list, taking care of our own emotional wellbeing is often near the bottom of the list – when it should be near the top."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b4d0f8f8800a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"29d709fb89ee","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"0e3edfbea1a3","_type":"quote","quote":"How can I feel a sense of loss when I wanted my baby so much? 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Learning to sit with strong emotions instead of pushing them away or numbing them can be hard work, and it takes practice."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"083540360c63","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9f79752cd7ff0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Sitting with our feelings can also help us to process and resolve intense emotions that might impact negatively on our sense of self and relationships to others."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3d271d7a3d69","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3cd75eef99100","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"\nLearning to sit with feelings"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h4"},{"_key":"eb56d8cfddaf","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f17288ae69260","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Using mindfulness techniques can help us cope with upsetting or strong emotions. Mindfulness is the practice of being in the present moment and sitting with feelings without judging them – or judging yourself for having those feelings.\n"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f783fc4555de","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"12c357028fab0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It’s important to remember that you can adapt any element of this mindfulness exercise so that it feels right for you."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a0e0232fa47d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f88cc6b1d6d50","_type":"span","marks":["em"],"text":"Take it gently, and slowly – you’re in control of this process."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"678504981d6d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"fcf4b7892d29","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"bea053ff7c39","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9287e90bf1d00","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Sometimes it can help to start this exercise with both hands placed over your heart, as an anchor point for self-soothing."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3a5dc27c4b91","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"cf8790034be90","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"Tip: "},{"_key":"1f207bdb5e72","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you read the exercise below and it feels too confronting or uncomfortable to practice it with a strong feeling, try the exercise first using a less intense emotion (eg when feeling tired, relaxed, wistful, bored, amused)."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"background":{"value":"#FFFFFF"}},{"_key":"9fe56a4f8d1c","_type":"faqBlock","include":null,"title":"Wellbeing exercise: Sitting with strong feelings","noNumbers":true,"text":null,"questions":[{"question":[{"_key":"3cefb6454c1f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1b62d4bd6169","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Wellbeing exercise 1"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"answer":[{"_key":"4fd9ba6a54c5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d295f0afb3ec","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"1. 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Taking purposeful breaks throughout the day to look after yourself ensures you can parent in the way you’d like to - and keep yourself and your baby safe. The plan includes a range of self-calming strategies you can use when caring for your baby."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"dd302887a3b3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"2079d54e529c0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"The feedback we get from callers to our Helpline is that this safety plan has been a game-changer for them. It can be used frequently throughout the day, whenever you need it. The plan is also effective with toddlers and older children. We hope you find it helpful too."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a5f74b77102d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ae0bb1f17525","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6668444190aa","_type":"quote","quote":"I LEFT HIM SAFELY IN HIS PRAM INSIDE, WHILE I WENT OUTSIDE. I CALLED PANDA STRAIGHT AWAY. THE FEELING WAS OF IMMEDIATE RELIEF AND REASSURANCE."},{"_key":"029c8e2af16f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"aaf19b5cedbf","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Parent and baby care plan"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h4"},{"_key":"19eaa2de7ee4","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"220e72f1e5c9","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Here are some ways to manage feeling overwhelmed, stressed or frustrated when you are by yourself and caring for your baby."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f561e688535a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0b7536d26a00","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Have a think about situations you find stressful or difficult to manage. 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For example:\n• take some deep breaths whilst counting from 20 backwards\n• get some fresh air\n• splash some cool water on your face\n• have a drink or a snack\n• text a friend\n• name and describe 5 things you can see, hear or feel around you (this can help to ‘ground’ you in the present moment)."}],"level":1,"listItem":"number","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c922251eeccf","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"09cbceb1d367","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When you feel calmer, return to your baby."}],"level":1,"listItem":"number","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"cb2ca5205c26","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8e641d1bf7cd","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Give them verbal reassurance and cuddles to confirm that they’re safe, and you’re there for them."}],"level":1,"listItem":"number","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"datePublished":"2022-02-14","header":{"_type":"pageHeader","background":{"title":"peach80","value":"#FFD29D"},"headline":"Parent and baby care plan","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","asset":{"_ref":"image-ac354e5534d97ca782e31e8e27338fdbb885f325-2500x1667-jpg","_type":"reference"}},"text":[{"_key":"5d6e6d1247d4","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4538a98db9c70","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"PANDA’s guide to managing overwhelming thoughts and feelings while caring for yourself and your baby. 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