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We know you’re the expert in your own life, and we’re always guided by what you think you need for yourself and your family. Together, we’ll explore which support options might be most helpful.\n"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"406ca67a089b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f0a4415f8d6d0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Reaching out is the first step"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h4"},{"_key":"ba7b7329b8ab","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a9a6c4289eba0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you’re experiencing changes to your mental health that are impacting your wellbeing, relationships and daily function, PANDA is here to support you. 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Many people may feel afraid to share these thoughts with their partner or family."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2ab6b9eb11c5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"fe2a04307248","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Difficult emotions in the perinatal period can trigger a lot of shame, guilt and sadness. The image you may have had of what you’d be like as a parent probably didn’t include feeling low, crying, or wishing you could take a break from parenting. Yet our callers commonly report having those emotions and thoughts. These thoughts and feelings don’t mean you don’t love your baby, and they don’t mean you are a bad person or parent."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"cfb728281771","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a389d1d09102","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"In fact, up to 1 in 5 expecting or new mums and up to 1 in 10 expecting or new dads will develop symptoms of perinatal anxiety and/or depression. Perinatal mental health issues are much more common than many people realise. Even if you aren’t experiencing significant changes to your mental health, it’s still common to experience distressing thoughts and emotions, including worry, doubt and sadness."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c371fe7fc8ac","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6703e5ca9c2b","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you’re struggling with your mental and emotional wellbeing, you might feel confused about whether what you are experiencing is “normal”. You might be unsure of how to start talking about your feelings, or you might feel concerned about what people will think."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"15ca978969d1","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5984a0014f7f","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It’s okay to talk about what you’re feeling. 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Many people, including some health professionals, may feel uncomfortable with other people's emotional distress, and may have a limited understanding of how to navigate conversations about perinatal mental health and wellbeing."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d7e3ea83436b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0507962925f7","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you’re finding it difficult to talk with your health professional about your challenges while pregnant or as a new parent, PANDA’s Helpline can provide a safe, secure space to speak about your concerns."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"94b56960190c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4b19e7e69da1","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"PANDA’s counsellors are caring, compassionate, andwill listen to your story. 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"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4b200a2c5a32","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9b09b9c35559","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Pregnancy and parenthood can be a time of immense struggle, trauma and pain. 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People who call PANDA’s Helpline often tell us that their family, friends and health providers haven’t listened to them, or have responded with unhelpful statements like:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c8fbb9361280","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c934eb4d6edd","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Of course parenting is tough. You just have to get through it."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"15e31f06b809","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"70c1ce23a546","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It happens to everyone."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"cffaddffebf2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"11872037e2d6","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"You’re just tired. 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(it may not be)"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ce772b47e7d0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3e71dbef91e3","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"You’ll feel better once you get some sleep."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"03ac6a8934cf","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"81927fb96816","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It’s hard for all parents, and you don’t hear everyone complaining, do you?"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f43870d3c9fb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"816b775d8c70","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Oh, lots of mums get by on much less sleep than you’re getting."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"069190ac2fe2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"34ddfeac2c35","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you confide in someone and feel their response minimises your feelings or experiences, or makes you feel ashamed or guilty, it’s important to continue to reach out for help. Every expecting or new parent deserves kindness, respect, and effective perinatal mental health care. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"953bf6a8ac53","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0421d7e0a5a6","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"We encourage you to keep reaching out until you feel you’re being heard and supported."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"5c13efb1f8bf","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1750c0a04982","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Managing unhelpful comments"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"89fc1f667f21","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6f12240407e9","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"358b27d71b46","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"52a4392081ec","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0da044381d2f0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"There are many different services and health professionals that can help support your mental health. If you are concerned about yourself or your partner or loved one, a doctor (that is, a General Practitioner or GP) is often a good place to start. They should be able to give you non-judgemental support, assessment, diagnosis, and ongoing care and treatment. They can also refer you to specialists such as a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"50cc2ad4d2e9","_type":"button","link":{"_type":"link","document":{"_ref":"3e9170da-2e0e-427f-a832-e5b31624df14","_type":"reference"},"linkType":"internal"},"style":"box","text":"Learn more about talking to your doctor"}],"question":[{"_key":"10d6d580407f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f86c63acd5a7","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Talking to your doctor"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"5618a09d8e0b","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"6ba124c5174f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"02bc5eb50b20","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If a parent in your life confides in you that they’re having a hard time coping and are experiencing changes to their mental health such as distressing or overwhelming thoughts and feelings, some helpful responses include:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ab07c53825fd","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f91ed42a8705","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"That sounds really hard. I’m here to talk about whatever you want to talk about."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2076ecf93790","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"58039655744c","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It’s okay to feel the way you are feeling. Can I help you find a professional who might be able to put together a support plan with you?"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"903b99ba542f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"561d206fe606","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I know that perinatal mental health issues are way more common than most people think. You’re not alone and I’m here to support you."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"9a9cbcbf6534","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4a4c8bb50855","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I care about you, and it seems like you’re having a super stressful time. I think talking with someone who is an expert in perinatal health could be really helpful."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f2648f8c2e61","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"db28fc161dbd","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Can I do something practical to help, like cook you a meal or watch the baby for an hour?"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8ca310252a49","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9f4e4ed3ed74","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I’m going to check in on you tomorrow and see how you’re going. We’ll get through this together."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6622db86d77f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"bf025864a1f8","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If someone tells you they aren’t coping with changes to their mental health, daily function or their ability to care for their baby by themselves, you should always take it seriously. Mental health is highly changeable during pregnancy and after having a baby, and can quickly escalate to an emergency, especially if left untreated. If someone tells you they are seriously afraid of harming themselves or someone else or is behaving in a way that is unusual, they may be experiencing postnatal psychosis. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d034dce19839","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c6f97e05bf42","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you are concerned about someone’s safety, call 000 immediately."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"e184663e30eb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"68c8c0a77a5a","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"What if someone confides in you about how they are feeling?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]}],"title":"Tips for talking about perinatal mental health"},{"_key":"5961c82b84c8","_type":"checklist","field":"content"},{"_key":"65c5084601e1","_type":"helpLine","field":"content"}],"relatedArticles":[{"_key":"321bccd29d0a","_ref":"09a8636c-b6c5-4b7d-ac91-a3c362fe67e1","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"d4af139a7df8","_ref":"bc33ffbe-22af-4ed5-b627-d64f7594825a","_type":"reference"}],"seo":{"_type":"seo","metaDescription":"For many new parents, talking about how they are feeling can be difficult, especially if some of your feelings are negative, scary or doubtful.","socialImage":{"_type":"image","asset":{"_ref":"image-502b9c9832b34b86ac3719a1ab45490aef9eb02d-1200x630-png","_type":"reference"}}},"sidebarPosts":[{"_key":"a1599f8f5a81","_ref":"3e9170da-2e0e-427f-a832-e5b31624df14","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"191d4aff7280","_ref":"6db1ae16-57eb-45a1-9f7f-e53fd09a8427","_type":"reference"}],"sidebarTitle":"Helpful Information","slug":{"_type":"slug","current":"talking-about-perinatal-mental-health"},"tags":[{"_key":"3bc6694cf754","_ref":"49993bd9-e417-4743-b155-591d0a496a77","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"cc6c475baea2","_ref":"98c6d929-2d8d-4cbb-9cfe-13d53cdcb7ad","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"bafe6aefb39f","_ref":"2df7e53e-9ef7-4ed8-aabe-1623b28de6ec","_type":"reference"}],"title":"Talking about perinatal mental health","id":"-112e2cce-b8f8-5ac4-b938-9a64d0a38a63","children":[],"internal":{"type":"SanityArticle","contentDigest":"84de5c772288a0a8c1232ba3d2505c0b","owner":"gatsby-source-sanity","counter":144},"parent":null,"__gatsby_resolved":{"slug":{"current":"talking-about-perinatal-mental-health"}}},{"_id":"09a8636c-b6c5-4b7d-ac91-a3c362fe67e1","_type":"article","_rev":"7impLCazy0Kv6tJ4W6zFyG","_createdAt":"2022-02-14T08:27:11Z","_updatedAt":"2024-09-16T00:56:21Z","categories":[{"_key":"97d7f4b0574b","_ref":"a4331950-09cf-4e89-9803-5127aa533bc7","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"25c364446468","_ref":"b84de418-c2a8-4c44-b6ef-628f8a1ce593","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"a61f3c57e198","_ref":"c4172819-1756-470d-8628-b5ffa921681e","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"a4b2cb718fec","_ref":"f3a1efdb-0e5d-4871-83d7-1d7f66ee6107","_type":"reference"}],"content":[{"_key":"db9a0507af81","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"12ec2f9e73510","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"PANDA is a free national telephone counselling service delivered by professional counsellors and dedicated peer support volunteers with a lived experience of perinatal mental health conditions. When you call, your call will be answered by a counsellor, or you may be asked to leave us a message during peak times."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2ad286e2501a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c21008e4220b0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"In every call you have with PANDA, we listen to your story. Everyone’s parenthood journey is unique, and we want to know about you and your experience."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f0ad9db91b41","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c01378ab67180","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"We provide you with a reassuring, confidential space for you to talk openly and honestly about your thoughts, feelings and experiences around pregnancy and parenthood. 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","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","alt":"illustration of mum on phone while holding her baby","asset":{"_ref":"image-885b5eb38f693819a76ea74c94d8b89f2fdcb163-5001x5001-png","_type":"reference"}},"text":[{"_key":"ed109e5eafa1","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e57a343822c30","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When you call PANDA, we’ll provide a free, safe, caring and confidential space for you to talk through any concerns you may have as an expecting or new parent, or support person."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},"modules":[{"_key":"cd72814a0a50","_type":"faqBlock","noNumbers":true,"questions":[{"_key":"ce20058466ce","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"d578f70320eb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"324f85351a0a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Most people call PANDA to seek support for themselves. But we also receive calls from partners, family, friends and health professionals."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f9ae8bfca5ec","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"49f639d6cbfb0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When you call, you’ll have a confidential and supportive space to talk through your feelings. We’ll listen, share practical information and provide helpful resources. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6904d3b5e147","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ff8e01427526","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Sharing your story with someone who understands what you are going through can be a relief, and a reassuring step in your parenting journey."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"55aa6637af5b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"fbe63d2772b30","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Some people call because they are finding the transition to parenting tricky. 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It was nothing like what I had planned."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"32afe61f77a8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"662bae49fdda0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I just yelled at my toddler. I hate this, I’m not being the parent I want to be."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"87fa4ba10609","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ad7b3988b8d10","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I don’t enjoy being a parent. 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I need help."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"9928177a5b06","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"62c5ab7316e7","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Why would I call PANDA? "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"f6a59ab18c27","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"3ae1035ce255","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"baf21834db9b","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"The PANDA Helpline is a 1300 number."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d2622ea99caa","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d859db6953750","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"The cost of a 1300 number call varies depending on whether the call is made from a fixed landline or mobile. When dialling from a landline in Australia, 1300 number calls are charged as a standard local call. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"044ee763642f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"610315176996","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"For this reason, 1300 numbers are also referred to as local call numbers. Calls made to a 1300 number from a mobile is charged accordingly at the mobile carrier rates.\n\n"},{"_key":"0238099e2ffe","_type":"span","marks":["84e0cd521d69"],"text":"https://www.1300numbersaustralia.com.au/faq"}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"84e0cd521d69","_type":"link","blank":true,"linkType":"external","url":"https://www.1300numbersaustralia.com.au/faq"}],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"89f4bec6d9e5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c304cb3ef782","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Is it free to call the PANDA Helpline?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"8fab9f4acfc3","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"296a531f8485","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"435a662f4f7b","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Everyone who calls PANDA is trying to make sense of unfamiliar thoughts and feelings. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ff631aeba3b8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"13f438a9c625","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"You don’t need a referral or a diagnosis of perinatal mental illness to call PANDA. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"9a8046cb8331","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0a033de35487","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"We don’t provide you with a diagnosis – that’s not our role. We’ll help you understand what’s happening for you and your family. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2eb9d21f4113","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"40c7cb85fbcf","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"We’ll listen to what you think might be helpful and provide information and support options for you to consider."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"1c025fea9e25","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1e1301d37c48","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Do I need a referral or diagnosis to call PANDA? "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"1ecb985c5b78","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"7fb1247f7da5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e2274380b9890","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When you call the PANDA helpline, you may hear a recording talking about PANDA services. This means that you are in the queue to speak with one of our counsellors.You might hear a recording asking if you’d like to leave a message for us with your contact details. We encourage you to do this, as leaving us a message holds your place in the queue and we’ll call you back as soon as a counsellor becomes available."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4f9551d49bf1","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"dbdd735779a60","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When you speak to one of counsellors, we'll ask you for some basic contact details and ask a few questions about what prompted you to call the Helpline. We’ll also ask about your own and your baby’s safety and wellbeing. While you can choose to remain anonymous, most of our callers prefer to share their contact details, especially if we’re helping you to find community-based supports in your area."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4185d7d15248","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"77d2f8d201370","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Our counsellors will encourage you to tell us your story. We want to understand what you are concerned about and how it is affecting you and your family.We want to know how we can help you."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"80ed84952b47","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6df1416f19e40","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It’s important to know that our counsellors are respectful and compassionate towards all our callers, whatever their background, nationality, beliefs or sexuality. 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Our follow up service includes the option of being supported by one of our skilled, compassionate and dedicated peer support volunteers who all have lived experience of perinatal mental health. You can read more about our Peer Support Program "},{"_key":"a032d3cae82c","_type":"span","marks":["c0a3f2a7bb8f"],"text":"here"},{"_key":"e417bb46e84c","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"."}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"c0a3f2a7bb8f","_type":"link","blank":true,"document":{"_ref":"11f4f6c2-331f-48ff-84f8-640cf425f518","_type":"reference"},"linkType":"internal"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a7aa0637d8e5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b449998235100","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Follow up calls include a range of supports:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2ec129a95973","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"dc4b75b7fa7d0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"We can keep talking about the issues that matter to you."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"0fb3b94104d2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c2bbffe8bb380","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"We can explore new strategies to manage thoughts, feelings, parenting and relationships."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e102a3a102a0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8265012a31a10","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"We can help you connect with services in your community."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b17ee54e718f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"325a70e7512e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Every day we hear of the many obstacles our callers face when trying to access the right help at the right time. Our role is to help you overcome these obstacles. You can stay connected with us until you are feeling able to manage without the additional support. You can call PANDA again at any time."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"06c0147f5e4c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b45f67131480","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Does PANDA offer follow up calls? "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"e82ceb88815a","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"6837b1ae5152","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"aefe6c0ef0160","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"PANDA has interpreters available to support those who speak a language other than English or have a hearing or speech impairment. When you call, please press “1” to let us know you need an interpreter."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"2b8080bb2b1d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1176d30ce6bb","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Does PANDA offer interpreters? "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"65486593fc7b","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"af014a779b12","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0bfc6a758b490","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Any information you share with PANDA will be treated as confidential unless there are serious concerns for the safety of you or someone else.If there are safety concerns, we’ll need to engage support to help keep you and your loved ones safe."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"85dbf5cdb8a8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"10b70af8312e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"We’ll make every effort to work together with you in this process. All calls to the PANDA Helpline are recorded (unless you would prefer us to switch call recording off) and notes will be made of your conversation. These are stored in PANDA’s secure client record system to ensure confidentiality."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"600f1fdd7b63","_type":"button","link":{"_type":"link","linkType":"internal"},"style":"arrow","text":"Your rights and responsibilities"}],"question":[{"_key":"c6bfa3d41202","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8b5924796b04","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Are calls to PANDA confidential? "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"50f1b91da61e","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"ce0adf8d9102","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d66053dcf4ad0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"The Helpline is open:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"010222703375","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d023b4c593590","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"9am - 7:30pm Monday - Friday"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a7e1dbc30f39","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"2ff531fefa450","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"9am - 4pm on Saturdays and public holidays."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"a77428c259ca","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a7ef351e2d57","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When is the Helpline available?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]}],"title":"Common questions about the PANDA Helpline"},{"_key":"b1de85eba998","_type":"storyCollection","eyebrow":"Stories"},{"_key":"28a428fe00d2","_type":"helpLine","field":"content"}],"relatedArticles":[{"_key":"d4f2162bfa93","_ref":"3e9170da-2e0e-427f-a832-e5b31624df14","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"0ae4e863315c","_ref":"2488aec7-6b00-4156-aa87-dc3a61d8c19d","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"ae647a9694c9","_ref":"8eaa7eaa-b6da-4b6e-b205-ae8ea004c0fa","_type":"reference"}],"seo":{"_type":"seo","metaDescription":"When you call PANDA, we provide a safe, caring and confidential space for you to talk, as an expecting or new parent, or support person. 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","id":"-3f4ac0c9-6628-5c97-adc3-f5fc7ed6effe","children":[],"internal":{"type":"SanityArticle","contentDigest":"867edd43a768855f59a043997ece96c8","owner":"gatsby-source-sanity","counter":24532},"parent":null,"__gatsby_resolved":{"slug":{"current":"what-happens-when-i-call-the-panda-helpline"}}},{"_id":"9bd8e1d8-20fc-4126-8892-d68606259ac0","_type":"article","_rev":"zCwLcyEIy3M60zoyx2kEqm","_createdAt":"2022-02-14T08:20:39Z","_updatedAt":"2024-06-11T02:08:31Z","categories":[{"_key":"d00f8a90c3af","_ref":"b84de418-c2a8-4c44-b6ef-628f8a1ce593","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"b231753912f3","_ref":"f72ed5fd-4128-46cf-b3ca-bdf1ed7b9837","_type":"reference"}],"content":[{"_key":"b15f7c976c7d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1257e00d9c620","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"As a partner or support person, it can be hard to know what to do when someone you love is experiencing distressing mental health or behavioural changes."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e6e597746f88","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"7347c7852503","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Sometimes reaching out for support yourself is the first step on the path to getting your loved one some help."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"datePublished":"2022-02-14","header":{"_type":"pageHeader","background":{"title":"brightTeal20","value":"#E1F9F7"},"headline":"Supporting the safety of a loved one struggling with their mental health","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","alt":"dad bottle feeding baby","asset":{"_ref":"image-7851f333190ac8c7624d87bf28da3d7c17b4d00b-2500x2000-jpg","_type":"reference"}},"text":[{"_key":"199aa478b8e5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"66cf25a308e50","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When you want to be a good support but you’re not sure how, PANDA is here to help. We’re sharing ways you can support the safety of a loved one who is struggling with their mental health."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},"modules":[{"_key":"e9879718826a","_type":"freeText","eyebrow":"Supporting your partner","text":[{"_key":"fb36f080e42f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"77e1e15b8615","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Helpful things you can do as a support person"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"be0f9edb3fbc","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f11806736134","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Try to keep an eye out for any warning signs that your loved one may not be coping as well as usual. They may tell you that they’re having a hard time, or you may notice changes to their mood, thoughts or behaviour that cause you concern. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"53d9a746718c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f7b9f1e17c89","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"You may see that your loved one is struggling to look after themselves or their baby and need extra support. You may notice bonding and attachment issues as well."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"49468abc557e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"be780d13865a","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Seek professional help immediately if you see or hear your loved one:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h4"},{"_key":"3f96c0873cf2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"2ce724e8ff76","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Talking about thoughts of suicide, especially if they mention any plans they intend to carry through."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f544cf8c0c14","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4b157fd14c42","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Talking about urges to self-harm, or engaging in self-harm behaviour that puts themselves at physical risk (for example, cutting or hitting themselves)."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e2bb04ec04ac","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"01efef00a4f4","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Talking about fears for their own or their baby’s safety due to someone else’s behaviour."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b5d475e97f2c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b2e184c5cd78","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Using substances excessively, including alcohol, prescription and/or illicit drugs."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6a80c09546bb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8da5c69211db","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Unable to care for their baby due to their mental health. For instance, some new parents are so distressed in their mental health they cannot meet their baby’s physical or emotional needs. Some parents may think or talk about hurting themselves or their baby."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"0c0c19d97b4b","_type":"quote","attribution":"Kylie","quote":"I'm very lucky as I’ve got a great family, an excellent psychiatrist, a great GP and a great psychologist who all stick by me and support me greatly. If it wasn't for these people, I wouldn't be where I am today"},{"_key":"9a7026f2e678","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"dd0def875a740","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you need immediate help:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h4"},{"_key":"3c161ceac69b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b1e015e09776","_type":"span","marks":["strong","2061a0e57d20"],"text":"Lifeline"},{"_key":"dd0def875a741","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":" 13 11 14"}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"2061a0e57d20","_type":"link","blank":true,"linkType":"external","url":"https://www.lifeline.org.au/"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"84f886ab0ba4","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"dd0def875a742","_type":"span","marks":["strong","e890fdae25de"],"text":"Suicide Call Back Service"},{"_key":"dd0def875a743","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":" 1300 659 467"}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"e890fdae25de","_type":"link","blank":true,"linkType":"external","url":"https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/phone-and-online-counselling/"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"bda241737712","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"26d5b9fbba980","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"Call 000 if you need emergency support."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"ae44d46abaf1","_type":"faqBlock","noNumbers":true,"questions":[{"_key":"1200929efbec","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"efd5c790fdcb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"bd6b8def4606","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Do you ever have thoughts or feelings that scare you?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2f5a8a805d79","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ecd03d88d4b6","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Do you ever have thoughts or feelings that make you worry about your own or your baby's safety?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"34cbf5b85606","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d3b868ea93ed","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Are you worried someone else might hurt you or your baby?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a2f2e98aa2ac","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1ec830a8febf","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Do you have any thoughts of suicide or hurting yourself?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6f2cdd1c2643","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"34359c086ea3","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Have you thought about ways you might hurt yourself/take your own life?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"93e99a691e12","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e34429e78837","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Risk assessment questions"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"7b5f9f025965","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"150b969a11d7","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6e7d55bf4c5f","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"What have you been doing to keep yourself and your baby safe?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a4eec1000495","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"049a0b9f62d2","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"What’s been helpful in the past to help you manage these thoughts and feelings?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"80310d70b050","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a31fba54492f","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"What helps to stop you carrying out your thoughts or plan?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6112a8201f3f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a73515791e50","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"What would you do if you felt that you couldn't stop yourself from acting out your thoughts?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"1f0080c03320","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"78dc5c733821","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Safety planning questions"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]}],"text":[{"_key":"4dc8ed3868f5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c48f440e81f90","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Family, friends, and health professionals need to be able to approach these areas of potential risk by gently asking direct questions and listening to any answers with curiosity and compassion. Expressing alarm or judgement may stop your loved one from confiding in you and being honest."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"fbeaa72aed26","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ee43253e9de5","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It’s important to know that being asked these questions won’t increase your loved one’s risk of carrying through with upsetting thoughts. Having a direct conversation about mental health risks can increase safety, as it gives you and your loved one a chance to talk about support options. Having an open and honest conversation can also bring a sense of relief to the person who is feeling overwhelmed and has been trying to manage everything by themselves."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ad7118596ac9","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"cb243fc14d57","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"For many people who are experiencing difficulties, it can be a relief to be asked these questions and have permission to speak honestly about their thoughts, – especially if their answers are received in an open, trusting and supportive way."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ec52faa2296c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5159a77b8dc4","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Some examples of questions to ask your loved one include:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"title":"Important questions to ask your loved one"},{"_key":"0102aac333d4","_type":"quote","attribution":"Maya","quote":"Supportive professional care, and the love and assistance of my family, were the key to my recovery."},{"_key":"2f088bfe7dca","_type":"freeText","eyebrow":"Safety planning","text":[{"_key":"400b24edc0d8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1f438929d421","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Safety planning"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"bd993b9f6ae5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"385fcae5793f","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If your loved one has responded to any of the questions above in a way that’s concerning, it’s important to encourage them to keep talking about how they’re feeling while you put a safe plan into action."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8cfe0d119452","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"018b77d2f889","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Recommended safety planning steps:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"703e0d84a04a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f01118cbf52a","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Use PANDA’s "},{"_key":"c1531e1a215e","_type":"span","marks":["9227c8209941"],"text":"Mental Health Safe Plan"},{"_key":"8183a35227d3","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":" to contact professional support services via phone for guidance on what to do next."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[{"_key":"9227c8209941","_type":"link","document":{"_ref":"0dd44d32-f29c-4ed4-b700-c1b55dfbb570","_type":"reference"},"linkType":"internal"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f1f192838ca4","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e1ed860c9dd5","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Arrange for your loved one to see their GP or a trusted health professional (e.g. psychologist, psychiatrist) as soon as possible for mental health assessment and support."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"007a84792c42","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"af83973b08c3","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Ensure you or another support person stays with your loved one and their baby until they receive professional mental health support."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"5e2dbd61e6fc","_type":"button","link":{"_type":"link","document":{"_ref":"0dd44d32-f29c-4ed4-b700-c1b55dfbb570","_type":"reference"},"linkType":"internal"},"style":"arrow","text":"Mental health safe plan"},{"_key":"523f6a7e3bd3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"80018a6d564f","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If your loved one is having thoughts of harming themselves or their baby, it’s essential that someone else is there to care for the baby so your loved one can focus on looking after themselves. 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I woke up at 2am that morning with a raging fear that I was going to die that day. My mind started racing, my heart was pounding and I started to envision my death. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"78ec2214baa6","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"632bcd151a7d","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I had an early appointment to get my makeup done, so I eventually got up and had a shower. I kissed my husband and seven-month-old baby goodbye. I looked at my two-and-a-half-year-old son Jace in the baby monitor and said “Mummy loves you”,and then I left with the thought that I would never see my family again. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"dea184b5206a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"2a2518cbba07","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"My mind was of course wrong; I managed to get through the day with hidden tears, multiple panic attacks, mind wandering, fake smiles and lies to cover how I was really feeling. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"9af369cea8f2","_type":"quote","quote":"This behaviour had sadly consumed my daily life for four long months."},{"_key":"c4ac1c1eff93","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5bf23b348b57","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":" I was exhausted, broken and desperate for it all to end, because I couldn’t live in constant fear anymore."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c82357de754d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6b89b9b2fb880","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b659e9d97741","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4c9a83013ac80","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When I had Jace two years earlier, I suffered from a mild form of anxiety. I put that down to being a new mum and having no clue what I was doing, but this time was so different. It all started during my pregnancy with Lavina. I suffered from all-day morning sickness for four months, Jace was giving me every illness possible from childcare, I was already suffering from pelvic girdle pain and was having difficulty walking. I was so over being pregnant and I was only in my second trimester."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b390ef42ec82","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"28bb40226b200","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"788099bd3172","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0f434856f6730","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"On top of all this, I also started to experience negative situations in my personal life and the stress from that conflict started to take a toll on my body. I felt dizzy all the time, my nausea came back and I could constantly feel my heart pounding. I began to worry that something was wrong with my heart and that it would cause me and my baby to die during childbirth. My obstetrician referred meto a heart specialist to have my heart monitored. After getting the all-clear physically, they believed I was suffering from anxiety. I started to see the same psychologist that I had seen when I had Jace. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"0760625be426","_type":"quote","quote":"By working with her, I was able to prepare myself mentally to give birth."},{"_key":"82da31f3680b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"73c2fbe7f1b80","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a00e27e30d67","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c9c420e278440","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When Lavina was born, I pulled her out and put her onto my chest, but she didn’t make a sound and was blue. After a few seconds, which felt like an eternity, she beganto cry. Instead of feeling joy, I felt absolutely nothing: I just stared at her, I was completely numb. 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I visited multiple doctors and got blood tests to check if I had a physical imbalance somewhere, but they were telling me that I was fine and it was a reaction to stress."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"41a26714c16e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"aac906fa521c0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"462291429502","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"737049c9e24c0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"After experiencing one of my worse panic attacks, I thought I wasreally going to die this time. My husband wanted to call an ambulance, but I was scared that they would hospitalise me and take my kids away from me. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4ad21e07dbca","_type":"quote","quote":"So instead, I called a helpline."},{"_key":"bcb0634d4865","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"86cd77bf7721","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":" They told me that they believed I was experiencing postnatal depression and anxiety. The helpline counsellor gave me helpful breathing strategies and advised me to go back to the doctors and get a referral to a perinatal psychologist. She also said that in the meantime, I shouldcontact the PANDA Helpline if need be."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3b4cbffb176f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"fdad437f8d8a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a23e13f68f47","_type":"quote","quote":"A few days later I ended up calling PANDA and it was the best decision I have ever made."},{"_key":"6a10974266b7","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"760b258248d00","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":" They were fantastic. They told me to go straight to the doctors and to start medication immediately. They sent me an email of everything we discussed on the phone, so that I could show the doctor. I started to see a perinatal psychologist and after working with her, everything I had experienced all started to make sense. 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I have a new lease on life and I now refuse to engage in any negative behaviour that will affect my mental health. I am currently completing a Bachelor of Psychological Science with the goal of becoming a Perinatal and Infancy Psychologist, so that I can help families who are suffering during this time. 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The Helpline began in 1983 after two women experiencing postnatal depression saw the need for a support group for mums affected by perinatal mental health and wellbeing challenges. With the support of their local maternal child health nurse, they set up Australia’s first perinatal Peer Support service."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8c78901c80e5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"65f6966f0e910","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"PANDA Helpline's Peer Support Program offers support to all expecting sand new parents and their support people, including healthcare providers. 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It also doesn’t need to be anything grandiose and can be something I do for ten minutes or an hour.\n"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"cda7da6c6805","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e9cd50195d6a0","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"What are some of the positive impacts of helping others?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3a23c39c71cb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"04c579cd37ee0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Our small or large acts of service create healthier and happier communities for generations to come. It’s a win win for all.\n"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"5d028424f8d0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"13c1600a274e0","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"How can health care providers better support people during the perinatal period? "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6c314e512064","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"569379d0c4b70","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I feel there needs to be more awareness around postnatal support past the usual six week check up. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f3aad44f75a5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6bf32f017e09","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"We get so busy with the demands of motherhood that sometimes the emotions or perhaps physical issues we experience don’t really come into our conscious awareness until much later in our journey. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c66595411479","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"fbab46a84d0e","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I think mums need more recommended check ups and contact with health and care professionals during this period."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"datePublished":"2022-10-27","header":{"_type":"pageHeader","background":{"title":"orange60","value":"#FFA688"},"headline":"Jessica's story: How family care helps me","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","alt":"Jessica smiling","asset":{"_ref":"image-d07a4d8e87e861d311cb0c8c5324165ef3883fb3-1536x2048-jpg","_type":"reference"}},"text":[{"_key":"3eeace196fb8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1ba38592a65e","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"\"Now that I communicate my needs with my family and loved ones, they show up for me in ways above and beyond what I ask.\""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},"modules":[{"_key":"bc6befcba5ff","_type":"textImage","background":{"title":"peach20","value":"#F3E5D8"},"contentOrder":"textFirst","headline":"Caring for the whole family","image":{"_type":"imageWithCaption","asset":{"_ref":"image-4a22e042d162d9c8a560f6a58c2cb74efa7d2e69-5001x5001-png","_type":"reference"}},"text":[{"_key":"86ffbbab145d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0a87190848fb","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Family care is worth the effort and can have immediate and long-term benefits for the health of your relationships."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"cdf492580c44","_type":"button","link":{"_type":"link","blank":true,"document":{"_ref":"efe73a01-6ad4-47b7-9eda-a342c978b3e7","_type":"reference"},"linkType":"internal"},"style":"box","text":"Learn more"}]}],"relatedStories":[{"_key":"8f17eac937b1","_ref":"a1ea04af-a727-4049-b76f-e5e3388e7ca7","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"507ab4c760dc","_ref":"3a24135f-caa6-4390-b28b-c32e50ac7b53","_type":"reference"}],"seo":{"_type":"seo","metaDescription":"\"Now that I communicate my needs with my family and loved ones, they show up for me in ways above and beyond what I ask.\"","socialImage":{"_type":"image","asset":{"_ref":"image-816787cb565fe454e49f9d6dff9841131abd0005-1200x630-png","_type":"reference"}}},"showFeedbackForm":true,"sidebarPosts":[{"_key":"45075ffb046c","_ref":"09a8636c-b6c5-4b7d-ac91-a3c362fe67e1","_type":"reference"}],"sidebarTitle":"Helpful Information","slug":{"_type":"slug","current":"jessicas-story"},"tags":[{"_key":"b6c4ec864c2b","_ref":"e7d8ddd8-75df-47bd-aa02-f873eb150d9a","_type":"reference"}],"title":"Jessica's story: How family care helps me","id":"-13da7e59-2091-5ab7-bf6d-a50f7e57cdb4","children":[],"internal":{"type":"SanityStory","contentDigest":"522d4558f9c42a992dbb470b70ebe574","owner":"gatsby-source-sanity","counter":1336},"parent":null},{"_id":"2b786df9-f7ad-4f7f-b1d0-527a0fb70be2","_type":"story","_rev":"svLfKH6kZp41XxrdBOSsJb","_createdAt":"2023-10-19T04:08:35Z","_updatedAt":"2023-12-06T21:50:06Z","categories":[{"_key":"0cfc569bcb8e","_ref":"a4331950-09cf-4e89-9803-5127aa533bc7","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"45c36782cf8e","_ref":"b84de418-c2a8-4c44-b6ef-628f8a1ce593","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"cdfd9c8d98f7","_ref":"c4172819-1756-470d-8628-b5ffa921681e","_type":"reference"}],"content":[{"_key":"bce86a378ffb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"bbc0232764a00","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I am a 33-year-old psychology student. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children, a pigeon pair who are 6 and 4. I live in regional Central Queensland and I am a childhood survivor of domestic violence."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"161d25ed27cd","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"182fbbd9af2f0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"My whole life, I have struggled with what I now know is anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). I thought I was the efficient person at work who was a strong leader and got things done despite the stress it caused me and the tears shed in hidden spaces."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3613ded8e6ee","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9d80c58e01390","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I gave birth to my second child in 2019. I had a beautiful, complication-free birth, and my baby boy was calm and healthy. However, people quickly started pointing out how much he looked like my father, who significantly physically and emotionally abused me, my mum and siblings, before dying by suicide when I was 12."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"79100cb21d77","_type":"quote","quote":"Initially, I would just shake off those comments, but before long, I was unable to put my baby down for fear he would die. "},{"_key":"d6a0bfc2b0b1","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e8b0bb63a815","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I couldn't leave the house, and most alarmingly, I would look at my baby and see my father and wonder ‘how could I ever love him?’. All while loving him more than anything and fearing that I would lose him too. My husband advocated for me, and I was referred to a psychologist."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e98e64632b0f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"66e2f4f524070","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"This was my second child, and after an easy postpartum journey the first time, I was not expecting to be hit with postnatal mental health issues the second time around."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f106805784cc","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9066b9e593860","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Upon meeting with the psychologist, it soon became clear that I was actually suffering from a significant flare-up of C-PTSD brought on by the comments about my baby looking like my father. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"973041333331","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5713b9ff2bdf0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Our families were not aware of my suffering as I didn't want anyone to know, so my husband and I needed to keep up appearances, which always added more stress. When I finally felt confident enough to tell my family, it ended in a falling out with a close family member. We now have not spoken for over two years, which hurts my heart every day."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d96af7497281","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"7ea35fd9c6780","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"My husband could see that I was suffering. He would find me crying, shaking and not coping. He would have to physically take our son from me at bedtime and put him down to sleep because my arms and mind had a vice grip on him that would not allow me to put him down in case he never woke up again."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"49c792831daf","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a0f95404f1890","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"One day when preparing for our 4-week appointment with the community nurses, my husband told me that if I was not truthful with them about how I was feeling, he would tell them because one way or another, I was getting help that day."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"1e007f185646","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a2ff52015b650","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I also confided in a friend about my struggles, and she gave me the name of a psychologist she had been seeing and assured me she would be able to help. I was nervous, as the only other time I had seen a psychologist, it didn't help, and I ceased attending."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"1ea8b61c308a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3d65c9c846720","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"At my first appointment, I was met by a warm, motherly, yet no bars held, South African Psychologist. She wears fabulous dresses and glasses, yet she is warm and empathetic. She was the one for me!"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"00856ad52480","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"70c456f3a8cf0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Nothing I told her about my life shocked her. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"072aab111a3a","_type":"quote","quote":"She assured me that I was not a bad mother because of the thoughts I was having, and she enveloped me in her care."},{"_key":"3c32366de718","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4da70cdd89360","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Over four years later, I still see her, and she is part of the reason I am now studying to be a psychologist."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"cd1b655ba766","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f108fe406396","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It was a slow burn because I had over 20 years of untreated trauma to unpack. Over time, I learned to understand why I am the way I am, and it has made my life, and my husbands so much easier. When I feel a certain way and I don't know why, I have the tools now to take stock and investigate within and find the reason why. I still have anxiety related to my son, and keeping him safe. But it is much less now, and I understand my little behaviours around this."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"1bac0285584a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"15b28a910f7e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I found it very difficult to leave the house on my own with my children for the first six months of my sons life. I slowly found places that I felt safe to go with my children and once a week we would go out for babycinos and coffee."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d316272f9269","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3f14d3f669080","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I continue to see my therapist at least every two months and more when I am struggling. I try to do yoga as often as I can, be mindful in my activities and interactions, and be kind to myself when things are hard."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"70de9cce616d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"91d07f42f2540","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I have a wonderful group of friends who I can turn to and who would be here for me in a heartbeat. Cultivating this mindset and having the confidence to be open about my mental health has not been easy, but it has been worth it. I am now able to do things that, once upon a time I would have not even considered."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"187002122bd1","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"190dbfa96d3a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"My message for parents experiencing mental health challenges it this: It's ok - these thoughts and feelings you have now do not make you a bad person or parent. Having children is really tough, especially when it is your first. Asking for help can be scary, but it is the best thing you can do for yourself and your baby. The first step is the hardest step, but you can do it. You are a good parent, I am proud of you, and you've got this."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f2e8a06716fe","_type":"quote","quote":"These thoughts and feelings you have now do not make you a bad person or parent"}],"datePublished":"2023-10-19","header":{"_type":"pageHeader","background":{"title":"orange60","value":"#FFA688"},"headline":"Megan's story: Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a new parent","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","alt":"Megan's family","asset":{"_ref":"image-08bed01e87668945aeb63c5091481f1393bd0a9e-5472x3648-jpg","_type":"reference"},"crop":{"_type":"sanity.imageCrop","bottom":0,"left":0,"right":0.1669595782073814,"top":0},"hotspot":{"_type":"sanity.imageHotspot","height":1,"width":0.8330404217926186,"x":0.4165202108963093,"y":0.5}},"text":[{"_key":"b2af9fa1d774","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"af09c512dc06","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"\"I would look at my baby and see my father and wonder ‘how could I ever love him?’. All while loving him more than anything and fearing that I would lose him too.\""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},"relatedStories":[{"_key":"050ede4329cd","_ref":"66d0efa0-3c8c-43be-b55f-9ce456347e2d","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"c0e0351075b3","_ref":"422f9417-661e-4a9c-b631-3321039ce134","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"eda96ce1fd2b","_ref":"405dfa26-f6d9-45bd-aec2-2937d731b6fd","_type":"reference"}],"seo":{"_type":"seo","metaDescription":"\"I would look at my baby and see my father and wonder ‘how could I ever love him?’. 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I'm 34, and I have a 2.5-year-old, Archie."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c5456816ca2a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"be1d3e858f240","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I am neurodivergent and found out later in life at 27."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"87328ef91f09","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a3b058aa6cf00","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I spent a large portion of my life socially disadvantaged growing up between Western Sydney and regional NSW. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3aa24921fd21","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"50df2cf4ebe80","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I lacked good male role models and struggled with my sense of belonging growing up - this unknowingly led to me struggling with my mental health. I found that my diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) helped me make sense of who I am, and the unique qualities I possess."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6e71e6f26b15","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"68852c44fe370","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I failed my high school education and was told by teachers \"get used to saying this, ‘would you like large fries with that?’\". Already struggling with my mental health, it was times like these that stand out, as it changed the perceptions I had of myself and who I was as a person."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e11c00fb2ae1","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d349908230070","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I am the first person in my family to go to university and the first to purchase a house. At work I lead the way for disability and disadvantaged employment for a large infrastructure organisation and have won a few National Awards for what I do."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"aa322e9a2e92","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3d821a89ad580","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I’ve achieved things that I could never have dreamed of, and I would give anything to tell my younger self how things would end up. These experiences have taught me empathy and the ability to see someone else’s life through their eyes. I wouldn’t have achieved the things I have today without those experiences."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b0952ff1ec16","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5e43f8c6deac0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"These feelings have given me purpose to teach Archie and others all the things I had to figure out myself, including understanding and accepting who I am as a human."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"49b3a0e7cadb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"63e26b981f010","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Mental health in the perinatal period"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"7e4d37d8828a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9969155337da0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"In 2021 when Archie was born, I found myself in the darkest depression I had felt. Archie’s birth wasn't what we imagined. I found myself spending the first month of his life living in hospital and caring for him fulltime while his mother recovered."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f2e07a398f15","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"bba826862ff80","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"This had a huge impact on our relationship. We had been together for 7 years and shared some amazing moments, but it all changed after the birth. We both struggled with the situation. I wasn’t prepared to care for Archie full-time."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"317609a1c420","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5ac81b0af22e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I am naturally a very social being, but I found myself becoming more and more isolated. I stopped going out or connecting with friends. My mental health was deteriorating, and I wasn’t able to see that unfolding before my eyes."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8c617eb5535c","_type":"quote","quote":"I felt so overwhelmed with my situation that I would uncontrollably cry. My internal monologue was constantly negative, and the feelings of failure were something I couldn't shake. Those were the key signs to know I wasn’t doing okay."},{"_key":"2b4423d86b7e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9b63ec195af70","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I was too scared to ask for help. As the birth didn't happen to me, I felt my feelings were invalid and that lead me to struggle with having no voice or support. The nature of the situation meant that our relationship broke down and we decided to separate 3 months after having Archie."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c66679cbe37c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d5b2852742fd0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I then had to figure out not only how to be a parent, but also how to be a part-time parent."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"658cef9d18fc","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"67992aa799690","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Having ADHD and lots of internal monologue, I couldn’t ever \"switch off\". I was constantly judging myself and comparing myself to friends who managed to make their relationship work and wondering why I couldn’t. I wondered would I be a great dad? Will Archie resent me like I did my dad? It was the toughest time I've faced in my life."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2eff3e4b85d3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"cae7e4bcf6320","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Seeking help"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"50abb1e09c1b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"51239d71efd50","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"My sister encouraged me to seek help and by having open and honest conversations with her about how I felt, I could get thoughts out of my head. She was my saving grace because she heard me, validated my feelings, and assured me that things would get better. And they did."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"5305ca39722b","_type":"quote","quote":"I was able to have those hard conversations - the ones where I could cry and have someone hug me and tell me it would be okay."},{"_key":"f30e61eac6a7","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e2c1c31516e10","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"My sister had a not-so-great birth, and she is such an amazing mum to my nephews. Seeing how it worked out for her reassured me that I still am a great man, and a great dad. It was the situation and not me as a person."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"962bc6a7c3ea","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"efad988570600","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Sometimes it doesn't matter what people say, it’s about how you perceive yourself. It was great to know I had support from people that genuinely loved and cared about me, but I needed to give that love to myself. To not be harsh and critical and to understand that these inconveniences in life are part of a bigger picture. These times helped me build an unbelievable amount of resilience, a new lens and a love for myself and the unique qualities I possess."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"7acec45c3ea5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9a259eef97110","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Although I don’t get to see my son as much as I would if I was a full-time dad, I don’t take for granted the time we have together and I know in my heart that I am a phenomenal dad, with a soft, gentle, and accepting heart. My love for him is unconditional, regardless of anything he chooses to become in life -something I wished for every night as a child."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a97dc717a785","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4af70406ab5a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Reflecting now, being able to get through the tough time in my life, and still managing to show up with a smile on my face and faith that I will be okay has helped me more than anything else ever has. Each time I speak honestly and openly, in all parts of my life, I become a better person and better father to Archie."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c9cba8fdee96","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"241d083eedd40","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Ongoing support of mental health"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"7cce3ce75f3e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a76e98fe95490","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"To support my mental health, I use physical activity. When I feel anxious or trapped in my thoughts, I go for a run, or a walk. I concentrate on my breathing and being in the present."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2b05ebde65a0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1797675d55d40","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"A great technique to ground myself is saying out loud 5 things I can see, like a kookaburra in a tree, 4 things I can hear, a siren in the distance, and 3 things I can touch like running my hand along a fence. I quite often talk to myself in my head and these techniques take me away from those thoughts of the past and the future, and back to being in the here and now."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"976c6933dbda","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"74cbaec49a090","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I like to have routine, structure, and discipline. When all else fails, I go back to the basics. I go to bed at 10:30, get up at 7am, cook my dinners, and do a minimum of30-minutes exercise a day. 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