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"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"0121db318847","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"587a11e5ec7c","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It can test the strength of your relationship with your partner. If this is your first baby, you’re shifting from being partners to becoming parents together. If you already have children, you’re adjusting to caring for another baby in a busy household. Add sleep deprivation to the mix, and even the strongest relationships can feel the strain."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"baa0962034cc","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e06b4753becd0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"You might be noticing unexpected differences in how you each want to care for your baby. Or you might have different ideas about managing paid work and unpaid parenting and household duties. If you’ve never discussed these issues before, bringing them up now can sometimes cause conflict and tension."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"30cff8690225","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6f3fab7de2710","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If other issues are in the mix, such as financial stress, problems at work, social or physical isolation, or extended family concerns, your relationship can be affected by all the extra layers of stress. Advance awareness of potential problems and being open to ways of managing your way through these can help keep your relationship in good shape."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"datePublished":"2022-02-06","header":{"_type":"pageHeader","background":{"title":"teal100","value":"#236D6D"},"headline":"Managing relationships: guide for dads","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","alt":"Dad kissing baby","asset":{"_ref":"image-5f5ae58e9ef6cd0fceb5beab711466ea7463645c-3840x2160-jpg","_type":"reference"}},"text":[{"_key":"bbd9a074e940","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e7ac3c0d382c0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Here are some ways to stay connected and still find time to look after yourself too."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},"modules":[{"_key":"5360bce2a0f3","_type":"faqBlock","noNumbers":true,"questions":[{"_key":"b451033ae0c5","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"e01e89c94683","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f54ae2cd8c7a","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Changes in your partner’s mood and behaviour can come as a surprise or shock. You may be feeling confused, sad, stressed, or worried about your partner’s mental health and emotional wellbeing - or your own."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"dcf883259475","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"27e90c4c79bf","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Keep communicating with your partner. Listen to what their support needs are and have a think about your own support needs as well. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"094e6cc9a8d7","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1150de2e9c82","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"The best thing you can provide for each other is emotional support. Caring for your partner means encouraging them to let you know what they need in terms of support from you. 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Discuss what this division of parenting care and time looks like for each of you individually, and as a couple."}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"eef0feeb97a8","_type":"link","document":{"_ref":"e6e6a893-d5d8-4628-851b-989152d74fef","_type":"reference"},"linkType":"internal"}],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"ba0c8cf5d15f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"60aa8884a6090","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Parenting"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"123c48af8f56","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"cb6caeb20f84","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e0f3388ba4980","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"You could consider speaking to your employer about flexible working hours if this is a possibility for you."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"cdf30135ae31","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f86991fae7ac0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Work"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"d49be27b8275","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"f4f401d3b7c0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"7a84c894240c0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you’re caring for your partner and baby and feeling tired, stressed, or overwhelmed, it can be helpful to build your own support network of people you can talk to. 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This can have a huge impact on other forms of intimacy as well, like physical touch and verbal affection."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"acedf740f25d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3d02d8d73ba2","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"We also speak to mums who feel so ‘touched out’ and tired after a full day of cuddles, settling, feeding, and caring for children that they’re not in the mood for more physical touch from their partner. This type of affection fatigue is common in the early days and weeks of parenthood. 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One partner might desire more (or less) intimacy than the other, or affection at different times."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3df4445fb50e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"111085325ca1","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If it’s your partner who is withdrawing and showing less desire for intimacy, it can be hard not to take it personally. You might feel hurt or rejected. If it’s you who’s feeling emotionally disconnected or experiencing a drop in libido, it can feel confronting and be difficult to talk about with your partner."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e16255494c71","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"330d3a141fd2","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Reassure your partner that you understand any changes to their desire for affection or sex right now. Be honest with them about how you’re feeling too, especially if you’ve noticed changes to your own libido. These conversations can feel awkward at first but a long-term, mutually satisfying sexual relationship always starts with open and honest communication."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a694ca242c82","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"97d668cdf8ab","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Explore other ways of expressing affection and intimacy (like cuddles or a relaxing massage). 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This can be hard to hear when loved ones are excited to come over and meet your new baby, especially when you want to share the joy and celebrate too."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b90525914a4f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c88070953d20","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If your partner is experiencing symptoms of anxiety and/or depression, social withdrawal is common in the early stages of parenthood. It’s important to give your partner the space and time they need to look after themselves and your baby, and not pressure them into having visitors before they feel ready."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2e28fa2b7f9e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0dd13f458803","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you feel up to socialising but your partner doesn’t, it’s important that you respect their wishes but also take care of your own need for social connection. 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Hold off, if you can, on making any big life decisions right now - like changes to your relationship, career, or home."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"78c4e0190e5a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"db4c641639a6","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"Give yourself permission to simply focus on looking after your partner, your baby, and yourself for the moment."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a1cb4ea56d3e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"061f2ed00879","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Reach out and ask for help if you need it – whether that’s family and friends, your employer, or a trusted health professional. 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It can help to discuss with your partner what might work best. You could even try out a few different options to see which helps you both get the most sleep."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f56bed33799e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"45e0ce5170a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"There are many factors that influence what might work best for you including:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8ad10d0072ed","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6dadb15140fc","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"The physical and mental health of your partner"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"fd93226c35fb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e3b9f29cd7d2","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Your physical and mental health"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"7d08ee8d55d3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"495911c8c52a","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Whether you or your partner (or both) are returning to work or managing current work/study commitments"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f67db5d6aba8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"2c1f6a14bd20","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Whether there are other children (or people requiring care) in the household"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"fa51fdb5ead6","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"76536d023119","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Whether you have a spare room or somewhere else suitable for adequate sleep"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"54b040d7e19b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"773d6b649a83","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Whether you or your partner are taking any medications or other substances such as alcohol"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f95c30d7fc2d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"13b05430d7bf","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"There is no one ‘best fit’ for everyone."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"datePublished":"2023-10-16","header":{"_type":"pageHeader","background":{"title":"orange60","value":"#FFA688"},"headline":"Sleep and mental health information for partners ","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","alt":"Happy parents cuddling baby","asset":{"_ref":"image-0d133b65f7c400d0a18c7331dce7fa8b0fb149ad-3334x3334-png","_type":"reference"}}},"modules":[{"_key":"c9ab75ffa068","_type":"faqBlock","noNumbers":true,"questions":[{"_key":"b2f25258470e","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"e324c901d2df","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"91408b753c430","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"One parent sleeps in a separate room by themselves overnight and then takes care of baby’s first feed of the day (as well as getting any other children ready for school in the morning) - if baby will take a bottle of formula or if the breastfeeding parent is able to express some milk."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"aaef6732f6aa","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d583f218cb2b0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Both parents sleep in the same room with baby and share feeds/settling throughout the night if possible (e.g., if baby will take a bottle)."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"7738f2ba6c07","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a3502350dd8b0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If birth parent is exclusively breastfeeding, then her partner takes care of burping/nappy changing/settling baby back to sleep."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"eaa4ee711e3e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"864b9ef2960b0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Sometimes other children in the family may struggle with the arrival of a new baby and you might find it works better to have one parent sleeping in a room with a toddler, for example. Other families might find things work well if everyone sleeps in the same room. "}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e3e327aa6a1d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"fcf8401f8e340","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you live in a multigenerational household, it's great if you can get grandparents or older children actively involved in the household by helping with food preparation, dishes, washing, nappy changing or playing with baby while the parent/s have a rest."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"511cda85b54d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"82cfd2c089c10","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If there are other adults who can be called on, such as grandparents, siblings, aunts/uncles or older children then consider asking them to help out in shifts. A support roster can be put together."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"57c988ecd836","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4e8fdca516c80","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If someone you trust offers to help, invite them over (if both partners agree) at a suitable time so that you can catch up on rest."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"232e8fb3eca4","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3c5a77bdab0a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"The important thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong decision– find what works best for your family. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"2b67b9ef3cfe","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"2893b9474de30","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Some practical approaches for how sleep might look for your family"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"2f47defdf91d","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"9323f65b422f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4ae70ea86c400","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"New parents sometimes find themselves in situations where their baby is sleeping well but they themselves are struggling to either get to sleep or stay asleep. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b7e83e7ff1b9","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c4b90a6bbdba0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"This can be due to several factors including:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"fdb965ecbf97","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"40730cb537e40","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Worries about baby or about the changes to your lifestyle or future."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a9c4d35d6119","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5e29764379680","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Waking regularly (for example, to check baby’s breathing or nappy or temperature of the room)."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"241c69122d70","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ce17d9692a240","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Hormonal changes post-birth which can affect sleep (these can affect the non-birthing parent too)."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"0526f656cad6","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"818bb1dc1c440","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Physical and/or mental symptoms of anxiety, depression, stress and other conditions. (see "},{"_key":"818bb1dc1c441","_type":"span","marks":["383585ea3483"],"text":"Perinatal anxiety and depression: Signs and symptoms | PANDA)."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[{"_key":"383585ea3483","_type":"link","document":{"_ref":"bc33ffbe-22af-4ed5-b627-d64f7594825a","_type":"reference"},"href":"https://panda.org.au/articles/perinatal-anxiety-and-depression-signs-and-symptoms","linkType":"internal"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8c13565a45b2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"48107f0d690c0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Insomnia that is unrelated to anxiety or depression."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"974765c5bea7","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3736c1ccfa7e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When baby is sleeping well but you aren’t"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"4baf0c191c63","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"b96c2eb8a601","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"2540283fcc620","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Co-sleeping with your baby or placing baby’s bassinet/cot in your room can minimise sleep disruptions at night as you can tend to them more quickly and hopefully without disturbing other members of the household."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6245b6768ec2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"93b1080f7b270","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Some people find having their baby in another room (you could try using a monitor if you wanted) is more helpful for their sleep as the noises some babies make can disturb your sleep (please be aware that SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) guidelines are to have baby sleep in their parents' room for the first 6-12 months). See: "},{"_key":"93b1080f7b271","_type":"span","marks":["6fca77f8d5bb"],"text":"Safe Sleeping Practices for Newborns | Red Nose Australia)."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[{"_key":"6fca77f8d5bb","_type":"link","href":"https://rednose.org.au/section/safe-sleeping","linkType":"external","url":"https://rednose.org.au/section/safe-sleeping"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d70cc7714004","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d1ba031b8a8a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Monitor your alcohol and/or caffeine intake as this can interfere with the quality of your sleep. "}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8cbf27f130f0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"66b1cee3ace20","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Speak to your doctor or pharmacist about safe use of any sleep aids whilst caring for your baby. You can call Medicines Line on 1300 633 424 (Monday to Friday, 9 am to 5 pm AEST) for advice."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8dc702830067","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a6c8fce7cf910","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"For a list of more helpful sleep tips see "},{"_key":"0703235e8f29","_type":"span","marks":["781e736968f8"],"text":"here"},{"_key":"41a4ced56450","_type":"span","marks":["0e85a040d3a5"],"text":"."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[{"_key":"0e85a040d3a5","_type":"link","blank":true,"document":{"_ref":"31948d3c-3367-4795-addc-ff29d183689e","_type":"reference"},"linkType":"internal"},{"_key":"781e736968f8","_type":"link","blank":true,"document":{"_ref":"31948d3c-3367-4795-addc-ff29d183689e","_type":"reference"},"linkType":"internal"}],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"1e42a36f87f3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f21e9b87e5160","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Sleep tips when you’re caring for a baby"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"5b3eee64746e","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"f75c29172691","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ec071481752c0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It can help to be aware of what’s running through your mind, (read about reframing your thoughts "},{"_key":"50408e1ed41a","_type":"span","marks":["a1216a20d9ee"],"text":"here"},{"_key":"54fec168952b","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":") for example, thinking things like, ‘I’ll never get to sleep tonight’, can reinforce stress or anxiety about sleeping."}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"a1216a20d9ee","_type":"link","blank":true,"document":{"_ref":"b4eecef1-924f-49b3-bcb5-cf206b844b68","_type":"reference"},"linkType":"internal"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f46f33eb2d05","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"54bcb822e2be0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It’s important to take the pressure off yourself (watching the clock and fixating on how much sleep you’re not getting). Research suggests that just lying down and relaxing, even if you can’t sleep, can lessen the effects of sleep deprivation."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e5284b8d314b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4f16d851d01a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Being able to talk with someone who understands the challenges of sleep deprivation as a parent can be helpful. 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"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"70b87ca9af47","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d19fbb68f752","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"For people who are already feeling a bit down or anxious, drinking more alcohol might make you feel worse and can contribute to symptoms of depression or anxiety."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4b2a0528b586","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0b86b350e828","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"In addition to experiencing worsening mental health, alcohol is also associated with an increased risk of suicide."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"0de4943d8dfa","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d32d46a33462","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you feel like alcohol use is impacting your mental health, you can contact one of the support services listed at the end of this article."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"60295a87a607","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5b1e624bb27c0","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"Produced in collaboration with the "},{"_key":"31a134911b64","_type":"span","marks":["strong","c335e5b0224e"],"text":"Alcohol and Drug Foundation"},{"_key":"34d737994af3","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"."}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"c335e5b0224e","_type":"link","blank":true,"linkType":"external","url":"https://adf.org.au/"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"31b9050b6eae","_type":"quote","attribution":"Chris, PANDA Community Champion","quote":"Drinking alcohol wasn't the best way to manage, and I wish I hadn’t done it. If I could change something, it would be that. I just needed to find different ways to have a release. Time to look after yourself is important, whether that’s walking the dog or having a nap."}],"datePublished":"2023-12-19","header":{"_type":"pageHeader","background":{"title":"brightTeal60","value":"#86DECF"},"headline":"Alcohol use in the perinatal period: Support for all parents ","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","asset":{"_ref":"image-5fa2c89ec442d97d78839cc2bb08ed2d947f87f6-2592x3888-jpg","_type":"reference"}}},"modules":[{"_key":"1783e3850d22","_type":"faqBlock","noNumbers":true,"questions":[{"_key":"e0206eda62ff","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"1c3a50acb329","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f5e86bd8d7ea0","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"The best time to reduce alcohol intake is when you’re planning to become pregnant."},{"_key":"b6825c802b8f","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":" "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"1bd5b9773d4b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0f9247f5b008","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If your pregnancy is unplanned, it’s best to stop drinking as soon as you discover you are pregnant."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"7be2410b745d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4a5c99bc1f710","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When pregnancy is confirmed, many parents want to reduce or stop drinking alcohol. If alcohol is a big part of your lifestyle, it’s okay to seek support to help you cut back "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f6b53f4493f0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a5ed17aee0070","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"Conflicting information from different healthcare providers may be confusing. Sometimes people are told that ‘an occasional alcoholic drink’ is okay but we know from decades of research that there is no safe amount of alcohol to consume when trying for a baby, during pregnancy and when breastfeeding."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"5365b4f81c91","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6f6fd388646a","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Alcohol during pregnancy"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"adf9b7c06d08","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"304a6fe9f6ef","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"be4c7f81f3450","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When you’re already feeling sleep-deprived caring for a new baby, it may be tempting to drink alcohol before bed. Although drinking alcohol may make us feel drowsy and fall asleep at first, it can reduce the overall quality and duration of sleep."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"365c98f4fa28","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"02a7dbeb90630","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Being alcohol-affected when you go to bed may make it difficult for you to wake up when needed to care for your baby and other children overnight."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e8613d2b305c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3c81df0104940","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Feeling hungover the next day while caring for your baby may also intensify a cycle of poor sleep and daytime exhaustion."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"1cabe656cf50","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d991502d09730","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Alcohol and sleep"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"b6b698bd09f7","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"322def2f7f44","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"7a19ea7cc8010","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It’s important that you never co-sleep with your baby while you’re alcohol or substance affected."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e2389c86cec9","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c3531cd451310","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you’ve drunk alcohol or used other drugs (including prescription medications), you can become tired quickly and fall asleep while cuddling your baby."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ab999ee07ec3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"289baa7da1110","_type":"span","marks":["11650c42d394"],"text":"Accidentally co-sleeping"},{"_key":"289baa7da1111","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":" in a chair, or on the couch while you’re alcohol and/or substance-affected carries an increased risk of injury to your little one, including fatal sleeping accidents."}],"markDefs":[{"_key":"11650c42d394","_type":"link","blank":true,"href":"https://rednose.org.au/news/accidental-co-sleeping","linkType":"external","url":"https://rednose.org.au/news/accidental-co-sleeping"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4fcec897668b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"71884fcc99560","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"The safest place for your bub to sleep is in their cot or bassinette. 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Combining alcohol and medicines like antibiotics, mood stabilisers or painkillers may interfere with the effectiveness of the medication and create unwanted side effects."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"64719461ad10","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ff8dbbf8b9410","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Alcohol use and medication"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]}]},{"_key":"50201cb21bf7","_type":"freeText","text":[{"_key":"bb0b21334233","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"53c6ed0f97060","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Practical strategies to manage alcohol use"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"a818e280a72e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9c66a9289bcc","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"Here are some tips for managing your alcohol use before you start trying for a baby."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"97350227f082","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f0ba4c170f680","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you’re thinking about reducing your alcohol use, you could:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"adc8730fcf23","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1c528d840a210","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Commit to having a few ‘alcohol-free’ days each week, gradually increasing to mostly/all alcohol-free days."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d1d1235a036b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0da236f1202e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Choose drinks with a lower alcohol content."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"1fd3cba99c1e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f2ffe9f5a2a10","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Alternate alcoholic drinks with water or other non-alcoholic drinks."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a58b59f01083","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c357976bd18e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Set yourself a limit: Keep count of your alcoholic drinks, and switch to alcohol-free drinks when the window of time is up. 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Every tip has helped form the dad I've become in some small way."}],"datePublished":"2022-02-14","header":{"_type":"pageHeader","background":{"title":"brightTeal20","value":"#E1F9F7"},"headline":"SMS4Dads ","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","alt":"Dad holding baby and smiling","asset":{"_ref":"image-04b1cead3b070f0fe144e15beb80c222dbf87cda-2500x1500-jpg","_type":"reference"}},"text":[{"_key":"7a42a5d7b409","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"584d727122200","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Free text messages, support, information and tips, designed for expecting and new dads."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},"modules":[{"_key":"9d934d009e64","_type":"textImage","background":{"title":"peach20","value":"#F3E5D8"},"contentOrder":"textFirst","headline":"SMS4DeadlyDads","image":{"_type":"imageWithCaption","asset":{"_ref":"image-71ef123a82cd35c826f5835a373f173b390e2fff-1080x1081-jpg","_type":"reference"}},"text":[{"_key":"27fd7c471162","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"7b75a0515822","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"SMS4DeadlyDads sends short texts with tips, info and links to your phone just when you and your baby need it.\n\nIf you identify as Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander, you’re sent a unique set of messages designed especially for First Nations dads.\n\nThe messages help dads:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3398e64c538e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"127849c826f3","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"connect with their bub"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e7813835c06a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9abe2065a849","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"support mum"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"89531d07c0c6","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"08826c434a16","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"and look after themselves"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b7b9fd28e952","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3e8b16e30d9a","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"You can sign up online by entering your mobile number and your baby’s due or actual date of birth."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"888acd4fc47a","_type":"button","link":{"_type":"link","blank":true,"linkType":"external","url":"https://www.sms4dads.com/v4/pc"},"style":"box","text":"Sign up to SMS4DeadlyDads"},{"_key":"e345b34cb25d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3b8ad80ca811","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"5a6eebcfe8be","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"7c60a7798982","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"SMS4DeadlyDads has been co-designed by the SMS4dads First Nations team Uncle Mick Adams, Craig Hammond and Dave Edwards in consultation with an Advisory Group of senior First Nations men representing Aboriginal Controlled Health organisations."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"00bc64b0db5a","_type":"freeText","background":{"title":"white","value":"#FFFFFF"},"eyebrow":"What do the messages say?","text":[{"_key":"5cc0207a15c9","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"87aaac2a6e250","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"You’ll receive three types of messages:\n\nMessages from your baby…\n"},{"_key":"ffe9b307f2ba","_type":"span","marks":["em"],"text":"“Although it’s noisy in here, I will be able to hear your voice from about 20 weeks. 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Dads can reply with a click and be directed to online help or more information."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"18615a570e88","_type":"storyCollection","background":{"title":"peach80","value":"#FFD29D"},"categoryOrTag":{"_ref":"f72ed5fd-4128-46cf-b3ca-bdf1ed7b9837","_type":"reference"},"population":"latest","posts":[],"storyType":"story","title":"Stories from other dads"},{"_key":"6928685697e9","_type":"articleCollection","background":{"title":"peach80","value":"#FFD29D"},"eyebrow":"Articles","population":"select","posts":[{"_key":"9f7fe3551e4d","_ref":"1e855afd-2d29-428e-998e-efa710e2a026","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"10a8386506a2","_ref":"6f4bac72-ed82-47ff-9155-aa2a02fb1833","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"1cf1c3e17f84","_ref":"34a10849-fbc5-40db-be3b-bdadad30177e","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"652573fc4d90","_ref":"9aa50a2e-c32f-4dda-a8ac-8da56d0b6bf6","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"f94eb5cc7f95","_ref":"10b7738e-1d41-4751-b5eb-e9e83a40dda2","_type":"reference"}],"title":"Information and support for dads"}],"relatedArticles":[],"seo":{"_type":"seo","metaDescription":"Free text messages, support, information and tips, especially designed for expecting and new dads.","metaTitle":"SMS for dads","socialImage":{"_type":"image","asset":{"_ref":"image-c809824eb3fd914158a74ec4be1b91652f8445d2-1200x630-png","_type":"reference"}}},"showFeedbackForm":true,"sidebarPosts":[{"_key":"2e5e5c891ffe","_ref":"e6e6a893-d5d8-4628-851b-989152d74fef","_type":"reference"}],"sidebarTitle":"Helpful Information","slug":{"_type":"slug","current":"sms-for-dads"},"tags":[{"_key":"6b90f7c9968e","_ref":"98c6d929-2d8d-4cbb-9cfe-13d53cdcb7ad","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"423790ed2956","_ref":"49993bd9-e417-4743-b155-591d0a496a77","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"fad8584b13eb","_ref":"93c6a6d9-0f5a-45ab-a76e-08706724c63d","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"2a6f15541d19","_ref":"86acc926-5328-468e-8bdd-8292f51fa04e","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"96473766edd4","_ref":"2df7e53e-9ef7-4ed8-aabe-1623b28de6ec","_type":"reference"}],"title":"SMS for dads","id":"-ac69f986-0f90-53d0-a5bb-5af54984653f","children":[],"internal":{"type":"SanityArticle","contentDigest":"0ecdd77ef409fd230b18263df2fbb669","owner":"gatsby-source-sanity","counter":129},"parent":null,"__gatsby_resolved":{"slug":{"current":"sms-for-dads"}}},{"_id":"3dd5d15a-dcef-45b9-8e91-c6dab35b5c2f","_type":"article","_rev":"b2NLSlubeLq6eTXi7g1r8d","_createdAt":"2022-02-07T02:58:36Z","_updatedAt":"2024-01-08T03:32:09Z","categories":[{"_key":"5550f14c1786","_ref":"b84de418-c2a8-4c44-b6ef-628f8a1ce593","_type":"reference"},{"_key":"d1e1987267e2","_ref":"c4172819-1756-470d-8628-b5ffa921681e","_type":"reference"}],"category":{"_id":"b84de418-c2a8-4c44-b6ef-628f8a1ce593","_type":"category","_rev":"aA1fTfkzTKX28O3lLBjb5S","_createdAt":"2022-01-20T23:33:56Z","_updatedAt":"2022-02-24T07:43:57Z","slug":{"_type":"slug","current":"new-parent"},"title":"New parent","id":"-2be506a5-df12-5306-ab62-d66056112f83","children":[],"internal":{"type":"SanityCategory","contentDigest":"48882a52cb4cba1ead286cefb3df3082","owner":"gatsby-source-sanity","counter":202},"parent":null},"content":[{"_key":"3192fe05240f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"51e56dcca4160","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"New parents can have high expectations about the kind of love they are going to immediately feel for their baby. Media and popular culture create an unrealistic narrative of love at first sight, a depth of emotion you have never felt, and feelings of absolute joy and elation. This can add to the pressure new parents feel to love or bond with their baby instantly."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"5b2252966c55","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6b90c6067437","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"However, many new mums and dads don’t feel that kind of connection straight away."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"17e15b877d54","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b934e227e2e8","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"After having a baby, both parents are adjusting to many changes in their lives, so it’s not surprising that it can take time to feel a connection to this new little being."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d57b52d32931","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"2fda6d2d3406","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Like any other type of relationship, real bonding between mums, dads and bubs can take time. This is completely normal. It is also common for one parent’s connection to take longer than the other."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"76c3d115d197","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ab76ac4f1524","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Telephone counsellors on PANDA’s Helpline often hear dads and non-birth parents tell us they are not connecting with their baby until much later. We know this is common, simply because babies often require a lot of attention from their mum in the early days for feeding or settling."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a7e13a1f354e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"de83e54448e8","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"More than 1 in 3 callers to the PANDA Helpline tell us they don’t feel an instant bond with their baby. If you’re feeling this way, please give yourself and your bub some time to get to know each other."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"9c6d09faf0c2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3a68f7126359","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It’s unlikely you’d fall instantly in love with someone you met for the first time – and it’s the same with meeting your baby. Every parent has a unique relationship with their little one, and it’s normal to take some time to feel things out, and slowly nurture and grow the bond between you."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"afcc735e9796","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d74f310a6f460","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Why does bonding take time?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"0a3d88385ab2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c9319637ae510","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Like every human, your baby has their own personality. And like any person you have just met, it takes time to get to know them and understand them. The relationship you build with your baby will deepen as you spend time together.\n\nBecoming a parent can also create difficult emotions. Exhaustion, burnout, sadness, grief, loss and ambivalence are common, and these emotions can be heightened by a difficult pregnancy or birth experience.\n\nBecoming a parent is one the biggest physical and emotional transitions you will ever make in your life. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself – try talking to yourself like you’re speaking to a close friend who has the same concerns to you. Give yourself time to get to know your baby and get used to your new role as parent."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"datePublished":"2022-02-06","header":{"_type":"pageHeader","background":{"title":"peach80","value":"#FFD29D"},"headline":"Connecting with your baby","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","alt":"Parents on playmat with baby","asset":{"_ref":"image-bda586ff5e0dc79a3c16c768466afec7ae6fc63a-2500x1667-jpg","_type":"reference"}},"text":[{"_key":"66d72a030382","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"02798e8b4d960","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Becoming a parent is one of the biggest changes you’ll ever experience. Like any new relationship, it can take time to build a connection with your baby."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},"modules":[{"_key":"3d54b100e5de","_type":"faqBlock","noNumbers":true,"questions":[{"_key":"259ba31e0bf7","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"deec962d93e9","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a64ff520d2bf0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Eye gazing (looking into your baby’s eyes)"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8f7ad168f790","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"7e078b6f46060","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Looking into each other’s faces. Try ‘mirroring’ your baby’s expression (imitating what they do), wait a moment and see how baby responds."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f3f9a38fbd12","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"cd0b66ba882b0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Try seeing the world through your baby’s eyes. What (or who) are they looking at?"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"1cf041afada3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1812426cb2a40","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Smiling – babies love smiles as they feel safe, loved and reassured."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d7757321144a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1d940b7b1f8a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Take a walk outside together, or a drive."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"3f26360a44a0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6a499b35b4bf0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Sight"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"cec9c41875b1","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"8953f44078b4","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e997686ea47b0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Talk to your baby in a soft, reassuring voice. Tell your baby what you are doing as you move around or care for them (eg during a feed or nappy change)."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d77d33ede8c0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ee01862ff99c0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If your baby is cooing or gurgling, try imitating them and see what happens (this is called ‘mirroring’). You might be surprised how good (and funny) the conversation can be."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c21ee888ccbb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4e102957eade0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Sing or hum to your baby. If you do this while cuddling bub, they will also be soothed by your heartbeat, breathing and the vibrations from your body as you make different sounds."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f0127afc8f4a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"af8429a468fd0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Play music for your baby and pay attention to how they respond to different kinds of music."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"22eaa236a601","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0d1b91ee4d6a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"White noise during naps can help soothe and settle your baby. It reminds them of being in the womb."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"d6d25f67a460","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"85f9a7828aff0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Sound"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"90deb8b43990","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"b023e655b827","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1f65ef2eadb00","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Babies love the smell of those closest to them, and they are drawn to familiar scents. Smelling your baby’s skin, clothes and blankets can create neural pathways of connection in your brain too. We do NOT recommend smelling stinky nappies though."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"0967ac82fc2d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6c2fb8072a040","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Scent"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"690999e6c851","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"27a47e836f6c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"93f2ac8682870","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Feeding is a great opportunity for bonding. Try looking into your baby’s face, gently stroking their arms or legs, holding their hands or feet while feeding them."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"3753d3a2647c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d3cb8113684a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Taste"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"cac8df100fa5","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"6b18e36a7862","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8286e6bc1c8f0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Bath time"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"861435315762","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8cc2fc2ccb970","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Cuddles"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"61b6863855a3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"dd40c0fd8bbc0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Infant massage: "},{"_key":"87958ac15f79","_type":"span","marks":["5cf87f373038"],"text":"instructional video from a registered midwife"},{"_key":"2943b2031714","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"  "}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[{"_key":"5cf87f373038","_type":"link","blank":true,"linkType":"external","url":"https://www.kidspot.com.au/baby/baby-care/baby-massage/news-story/61291e8725b8a1ad0405f202997ead9c"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d532900a742a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a542250d73bb0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Using a baby carrier"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ba18811d6a46","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e6a0531cfd870","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Dancing, rocking or swaying together with baby in your arms"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a7df18119dc8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e19845cfe9080","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Laying in a recliner or bed together, skin to skin"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"6f084ad808f4","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5a14ca3add170","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Touch"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]}],"title":"Ideas for bonding with your baby"},{"_key":"c9dd0080a995","_type":"freeText","background":{"title":"beige100","value":"#EDE8E4"},"text":[{"_key":"cd1b4b8dec1d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"80fc161d81d20","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Bonding ideas for parents away from their babies"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"6a5f08b34a48","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"62914a6296220","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Sometimes parents need to be away from their babies. This applies for FIFO workers, during holidays, NICU or hospital stays - any situation when someone else is caring for your baby."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e297d8a64285","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"18fbd0be3a400","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2da83b480f87","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"330e9a00c7f60","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Here are some ideas to stay connected and keep bonding:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"adbaeabf2943","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"39378b1e9ef70","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Phone and video calls – babies love the sound of their parents’ voices and seeing their faces."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"db4d50b31cf8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3b7b6cfb5db50","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Pre-record voicemail messages, or record lullabies or bedtime stories. Your partner or the person caring for your baby can play these for your baby while you’re away."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6484443f83d5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"57f158827edf0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Leave a piece of clothing you’ve been wearing (like a t-shirt) so even while you’re apart, baby can still smell your scent and feel close."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"fd189c98b6a7","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"52184e30a46e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Take photos of your baby and recordings of their little voice with you so you can reflect on time spent together and savour the reunion when it comes."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"712fe05e8ee3","_type":"freeText","background":{"title":"white","value":"#FFFFFF"},"text":[{"_key":"393207af4be5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"946f396c4b43","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Postnatal anxiety, depression and postnatal psychosis can affect bonding"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h4"},{"_key":"18cf6f58478d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"209b99f88ebd","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"7269c8152aad","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8c03e008f170","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you or your partner is struggling with postnatal anxiety or depression or postnatal psychosis this can affect your ability to feel a connection with your baby."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"200753722708","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"6fa537599605","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"For a mum or dad who is feeling sad, anxious, low on confidence, or lost and confused, it can be hard to sit in the moment and just ‘be’ with your new baby. "},{"_key":"42b7f6420c48","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"Being present in each moment with your baby helps with bonding and connection."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"1e836215193e","_type":"faqBlock","questions":[{"_key":"f9790ca0a3fe","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"9a2c6ee58c5b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"92fd23e184e90","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It takes time to connect with and grow a relationship between anyone, including parents and their babies. Love takes time to grow. There’s no set timeline, and that’s okay."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"d46cb56fe4d1","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c46f065a76220","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Why don’t I instantly love my baby? "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"2da04be74c39","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"b0b35cd47ee4","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"47107cc335ee0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"There’s nothing wrong with you. The biggest issue is the unhelpful cultural narrative that parent-infant love is instant and spontaneous. 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In private, they may be experiencing similar feelings to you. We hear from parents all the time at PANDA who tell us they were relieved to hear other parents also feel this way. Often, they found out they weren’t alone in having bonding issues when they were brave and confided in the other parents at their playgroup."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"question":[{"_key":"69d8231a8792","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f70616a33ccd0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Why do all the other parents at my playgroup seem to adore their babies?"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},{"_key":"f9bfd208d5de","_type":"faq","answer":[{"_key":"1c842d3056d2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"76aaf9b9d00d0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"This is one of the most common questions we hear on the PANDA Helpline. Every relationship is unique, and sometimes connection takes time and effort. 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I mean, I never thought it would be easy, but men have been doing it forever, right? "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3ce6a72de321","_type":"quote","quote":"So I thought we’d be OK, even though my wife and I had both experienced anxiety and depression before which we knew put us at greater risk."},{"_key":"4968f281304c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1801f0e4d4c50","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I was pretty excited leading up to the birth. We went through five years of infertility before we were able to conceive so we both had that extra sense of anticipation. I realised later this meant I was putting a lot more pressure on myself. I was thinking it’s taken this long, this might be the only time it happens, I don’t want to screw it up."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"18053d84db4f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"126a8a6a24980","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Our daughter Ivy had a lot of difficulty with feeding which in turn affected her ability to sleep, but the hardest thing for me was not being able to help my wife. She was struggling with lack of sleep and anxiety surrounding the feeding issues and being a new mum. I felt there were specific things I could do to help with Ivy’s feeding and sleeping, but I just felt really powerless when my wife was struggling and I didn’t know what to do about it. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"82dc6f7c6464","_type":"quote","quote":"Looking back, I realise I felt shame about not being able to fix things."},{"_key":"d67cd79e8aa9","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"89d01ebc5c410","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"When Ivy was around two months old, we accepted a spot in Torrens House where you stay and they help you with sleeping and feeding and so on. I was just desperately hoping we could sort it out before then and we wouldn’t need to go in there. I felt really ashamed that we went in there, like I’d failed as a dad. I just had a very negative attitude towards it like it was an indictment on us, or on me as a parent and husband, rather than looking at it as a chance to get some help."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"82df261ec152","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"2248d848059d0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"One night just before going into Torrens House, Ivy woke up in the night and we couldn’t get her back to sleep. That was when it all came down on me. I was exhausted and stressed and I just broke down crying. I was just hit with this feeling like nothing I did was good enough to help this situation we were in. I just wanted to fix it, and not being able to do that really messed with my head."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ba0218a01ebb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1b646188637c0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"On top of that I wanted to ‘fix’ all the things that my wife was finding difficult as it was hard for me to see how it was affecting her. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"affe21dc46ee","_type":"quote","quote":"Neither of us found it easy to ask for help or accept it when it was offered."},{"_key":"2412557b885f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"af2529f82fda","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":" In the past we had relied a lot on each other for support and now that we were both struggling and exhausted our old ways of dealing with stress were no longer working. I reached a point where I asked my wife not to talk to me about her struggles because it was too hard for me to hear and not know how to help."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"72ce9fb803e1","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4c65dc98759a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I became quite controlling of everything we did because it felt like it was all spinning out of my control and I was so worried about my wife being anxious. I was micromanaging everything, which ended up causing more stress around home instead of making it better. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"72fca954c86b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1c22e9522e7e","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"My wife told me she didn’t want me to come into Torrens House because of how I was acting. So I ended up staying at home. That whole week I felt lower than I’d ever felt before. I felt like I was losing my family, like I’d completely stuffed it up. I was really depressed and just wondered what was the point of being here if I’ve mucked it up this badly? I couldn’t see how I could come back from this."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3b56234cf39e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"01a4be9f68830","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I went and saw a doctor because I knew I needed some help. It wasn’t my regular GP, I just wanted to get in and see anyone. But he wasn’t very helpful at all. He was actually quite dismissive. He said women can get depressed having babies but not men. After that I just felt like I wasn’t worth helping."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"096e55dcfa92","_type":"quote","quote":"Thank goodness for the SMS for Dads program."},{"_key":"a5af77f78347","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a53fbae6cdf40","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":" The breastfeeding consultant at the hospital mentioned it, and I signed up because I thought it would be helpful to get regular tips on parenting, particularly fatherhood. I was so exhausted that I felt I couldn’t face reading a parenting book. I liked the idea of getting short, sharp messages reminding me to connect with my baby and to check in on my mental health. Each one only took about ten seconds to read, and they were really helpful."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c8d5b3ac950b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a125d0fc2e7e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I’d get a text every week saying ‘How’s Dad Going?’ To begin with I just clicked on ‘Going Fine’, even though I wasn’t. But then I just thought I’d click ‘The Worst’ and see what happens. I got a pop up saying ‘Would you accept a call back from a health service?’ I clicked yes and the next day I got a call from PANDA. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e6f6426ce8df","_type":"quote","quote":"Taking that phone call was my first step on a path towards feeling better."},{"_key":"55108e92ce23","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3841ec346b1a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"All of a sudden I felt like someone understood. It was amazing just having someone who listened. The counsellor spent a lot of time just reassuring me that it was a good thing that I’d reached out for help. She told me it’s actually not a failure that you’ve done this. It just helped to reverse some of the negative thoughts I’d been having."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"30977ad82840","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b9505d19ca020","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"During that first week – when my wife and baby were in Torrens House – I had a call every day, sometimes more than once a day. And each time we ended the conversation they would ask me if I’d like a follow up call the next day, or perhaps the day after, or maybe the next week. And that was really helpful, just having that sense that someone cares enough to check back in with you. That meant a lot."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"955a509b8407","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3ddf56e96b5b0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"While this was happening, my wife had been getting support as well in Torrens House, and I also got in to see my regular doctor. She recommended some medication, and also referred me to a psychologist. Torrens House also connected me with some parenting mental health support through the local council."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"50bd94d92593","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4edc3180f2870","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"So in the end it was a combination of things that led to my recovery. Just knowing that PANDA was there if I needed them made a huge difference. Looking back, the biggest thing was having that first phone call. That really helped shatter the illusion for me that I had to keep it all together, that I had to be a perfect dad. Being told it was OK to not know what I was doing was the single most helpful thing anyone said to me."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"106f557fa625","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"fafc364ed0ce0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I think my biggest fear is to be seen as weak or exposed for not knowing what to do. It’s amazing how powerful it can be to be told it’s OK to take off the mask and the body armour – those things I put up to hide my feelings and protect myself. It helped me to put my shame aside and reach out for help."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"47526ac659a7","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"17261662925e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Now, I see my counsellor once a month. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"bd467116b211","_type":"quote","quote":"I have a self-care plan, including some 'emergency' self-care strategies for when I'm feeling really bad."},{"_key":"b74b231bda27","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"bbc86c084733","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":" I make more effort to connect with friends and to spend time on hobbies that are fulfilling to me. Physically, I aim to be active in some way every day, for 30mins. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f03781a78d8c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"f8dfdec58e4c","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"For joy, I ensure I spend at least an hour a week on hobbies that I enjoy e.g. playing music."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a31d17459157","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1a3aaf854f880","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If I could pass on one message to people reading this I’d say admitting you’re struggling and reaching out for help doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It’s actually a win because reaching out for help is doing a good thing for your family."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"bd702b24b279","_type":"quote","quote":"Asking for help is a sign of strength and courage, not weakness. "},{"_key":"eedd95aaeda9","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"481f5ee24e650","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It's ok to not know what to do. You're doing the best you can with what you've got. You're a person of worth, who is worth helping. 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It can also feel hard to know how you can best help and support your partner."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"7ed60f6c7afb","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b4ac0a9b52860","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Dads can experience anxiety and depression symptoms during pregnancy and after their baby is born too."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f3bd555311a1","_type":"button","link":{"_type":"link","blank":true,"document":{"_ref":"1e855afd-2d29-428e-998e-efa710e2a026","_type":"reference"},"linkType":"internal"},"style":"box","text":"Signs and symptoms of perinatal anxiety and depression in dads"},{"_key":"c21fdc7bab82","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3f1a0dc302310","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Men can find it more difficult to reach out for help and support due to feelings of shame, cultural stigma, and other barriers to receiving mental health support."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f6428fa7cfe5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c29cab0677ce","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Help’s available if you’re having a hard time."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"datePublished":"2022-02-14","header":{"_type":"pageHeader","background":{"title":"teal100","value":"#236D6D"},"headline":"Getting help: Support for expecting and new dads ","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","alt":"Dad worried","asset":{"_ref":"image-ee7e369cd94083b8d5e0057b6369f4a27591435b-3001x3000-png","_type":"reference"}},"text":[{"_key":"3f8751b7dac5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"23bb3e3abda20","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"PANDA supports dads when they need it most - building a solid foundation of care for the whole family unit."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},"modules":[{"_key":"84ea0b8484e8","_type":"freeText","background":{"title":"white","value":"#FFFFFF"},"eyebrow":"Find support","text":[{"_key":"6148255ba66b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"182ce941f0220","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Seeking support"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"be65b71c2a50","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c39dca5aefb60","_type":"span","marks":["strong"],"text":"You might like to try:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"e32ef9d0c38f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3deaec2032ac0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Speaking with your partner and sharing how you are feeling"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"cde3e8314475","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"145405c22d2b0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Talk to a trusted friend or family member, especially if that person has experienced mental health issues"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b0e39cf607a7","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"016e7a9c8c330","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Your GP is an excellent starting point, and they can refer you to a psychologist or counsellor who has experience in supporting new dads"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"841c9e71db93","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8787405fef8b0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"If you are having suicidal thoughts or are feeling distressed or disoriented it’s important to get help immediately. 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"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"3a25bfc79697","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c99b4fc9e3a2","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"These might include:"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"8c67a9143c3f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"61dd2f38f3b10","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Counselling"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f964c298947f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"05cda6f48a780","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Self-care strategies, like the "},{"_key":"05cda6f48a781","_type":"span","marks":["1ea4dbb59101"],"text":"SMS4Dads program"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[{"_key":"1ea4dbb59101","_type":"link","document":{"_ref":"421a9561-4b20-49f6-ba43-d83aade5b600","_type":"reference"},"href":"https://panda.org.au/articles/sms-for-dads","linkType":"internal"}],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"031d96c09742","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5ba1c055349d0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Medication"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"07e0b64cbb39","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"98a8aa7dcf9b0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Peer supports for dads (e.g. virtual courses and peer groups)"}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"69224b08e7e3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b5fb58488baf0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Information and access to perinatal mental health resources specially designed to support dads."}],"level":1,"listItem":"bullet","markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"953aed5556a6","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1726094287e30","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"It’s also important for your doctor to rule out the possibility of any other physical conditions that may contribute to feelings of depression, anxiety, low energy or lack of motivation. 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