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"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a3bba17caaaa","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"b4f77ad368db","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"You may have some challenging parenting moments, but being a dad can also be a lot of fun as you and your baby get to know each other."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"5cea9b756b62","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1f053aef2c06","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Recent research into dad and baby bonding reported that babies may be more likely to develop strong, secure attachment to their dads when they’ve had a lot of one-on-one time together since birth."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"datePublished":"2023-06-05","header":{"_type":"pageHeader","background":{"title":"teal100","value":"#236D6D"},"headline":"How dads can build a strong bond with their baby","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","alt":"Dad kissing laughing baby","asset":{"_ref":"image-e24464f8cbc9438282dd5165237eb270f140b017-800x800-png","_type":"reference"}},"text":[{"_key":"43a178fb5e3d","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"316694eb69c9","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":" Practical tips for dad and baby bonding time."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}]},"modules":[{"_key":"4aa0ca5cea18","_type":"freeText","eyebrow":"Bonding with your baby","text":[{"_key":"0b13a6e24da3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"37103b58712b0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Working on a stronger bond with your baby"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"6d6c9a056aa8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"581ee80cc29b","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"You may be wondering about how to bond with your baby and worry about getting it right. 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The struggles compounded over time, and adversely affected my mental health."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4bd41df48ce8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"beae39621f8e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"In the days following her birth, our daughter was not feeding and lost body weight. My wife struggled herself in the ensuing days meaning the postnatal period was a particularly stressful, anxious time for us all."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"ef328eb2ac30","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"32eda2a80b1a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I had not really experienced much by way of mental illness in the past, or even really considered that I could be prone to it. As such, it was hard to understand exactly what it was, let alone acknowledge that I had some form of anxiety I was unable to cope with. I wanted to remain strong but at the same time, not acknowledging it was becoming detrimental."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"79e5c1135fea","_type":"quote","quote":"As a father, particular in the early days after birth, it was difficult for me to understand my “role”. "},{"_key":"572658563b64","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a53beacb0c3a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"At times I just didn’t know where or how to help, which made me feel helpless and hopeless. It was extremely difficult to see my wife struggle with new parenthood as well."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"58c0910bcf43","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"666cc63705520","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Seeking support"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"00e40a558397","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a33a1352ccfb0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"As part of the maternal health nurse home visits, we were introduced to Parentline. I can vividly remember the first time that I broke down uncontrollably. My wife encouraged me to call Parentline, and suggested I talk to a psychologist."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"92a2e524241f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0a2e95b5b8570","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Parentline, like PANDA, helped to normalise that challenges occur during this period. It made me realise that it was ok to ask for help, and that I am not alone as a dad in the challenges faced during this period."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"53fab6816978","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"bab2d39b3b9a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Through Parentline and with the help of a psychologist, I was able to learn coping strategies that worked for me, as well as an avenue for support that was impartial."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"7f6b20ba6160","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0012920b02df0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"With that said, challenges were still faced even when help was on hand, including finding the time and being in the right frame of mind. Even just having space and time at home for privacy to speak to a helpline proved difficult. Psychologists and counsellors had long waiting lists and often didn’t have suitable appointment times available. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"5c539ec00fbe","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0a83da7437430","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Getting the right support continues to be an ongoing journey as different stages of life present new challenges over time."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6a87f804fdd0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"387747d7ff1d0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":""}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4e459f057bd4","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"3e29810eadb50","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Recovery "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"8b56b24a0510","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"08c2d75199af0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"For me now, supporting my mental health is an important, ongoing part of my life. No different to maintaining physical health through regular exercise and healthy eating. After I found the right support, the challenges I faced were still difficult, but slowly over time I saw gradual improvement."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"074c04e5e8b2","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8f57d06ef83d0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Today I am more confident in looking for the right kind of help. I have accepted that life is going to be hard at times and that we can be responsible for tackling these challenges head on."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"4cca7b13f987","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4440a408c3a50","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I continue to see a psychologist regularly, and sometimes call Mensline if I am feeling overwhelmed and need someone to talk to. I also exercise more self-care and compassion towards my mind and body, whether physical exercise such as Pilates or practicing mindfulness through meditation to help find the right balance. I know that challenging times will occur. Rather than hoping they don't occur, I now find space for these times to come and pass by using strategies that I have adopted."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"b7500c881138","_type":"quote","quote":"It has been important for me to actively find balance as a parent and husband by also prioritising other facets of my life such as friends and family, extra-curricular activities like sport, and travel to maintain an overall well-being."},{"_key":"828d740a0d9a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"c0b2a42bb6dc0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"A message for others who might be struggling"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"25d27fc2489e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"0030cb6000c10","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"The newborn phase is one filled with so many different emotions that it can be hard to keep up. The ups and downs can be particularly unsettling, and many men may feel like it is weak for a man to ask for help."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"554f03d6c05a","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ec2bc553d3210","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"For others in a similar position, I encourage you to challenge this perception. These feelings are perfectly normal so don’t be afraid to reach out for help."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"6c7fd46d5e06","_type":"quote","quote":"You can be there for your partner and children by being there for yourself too."},{"_key":"23d841efcd1f","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"78dde6db65eb0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"There are a lot of different kinds of help available. For example, see if your employer offers an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), call a free helpline or visit your GP."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"944898d02299","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"8370537adc8d0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Know that it won't always be like this."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"datePublished":"2024-05-28","header":{"_type":"pageHeader","background":{"title":"peach80","value":"#FFD29D"},"headline":"Brad’s story: A dad’s experience of anxiety in the postnatal period ","image":{"_type":"imageWithAlt","asset":{"_ref":"image-4546365c67f5e94bdd060288b83763514ba7fca4-960x1280-jpg","_type":"reference"}}},"modules":[{"_key":"05b68528d76c","_type":"articleCollection","background":{"title":"orange60","value":"#FFA688"},"categoryOrTag":{"_ref":"f72ed5fd-4128-46cf-b3ca-bdf1ed7b9837","_type":"reference"},"eyebrow":"Articles","population":"latest","title":"Helpful information for dads"},{"_key":"2b274f96ebf7","_type":"storyCollection","background":{"title":"peach80","value":"#FFD29D"},"categoryOrTag":{"_ref":"f72ed5fd-4128-46cf-b3ca-bdf1ed7b9837","_type":"reference"},"eyebrow":"Stories","population":"latest","storyType":"story","title":"Stories about dads"}],"seo":{"_type":"seo","metaDescription":"You can be there for your partner and children by being there for yourself too.","socialImage":{"_type":"image","asset":{"_ref":"image-a8b81400a4b31202c21e2b3a4b045e2d34c84a6b-1200x630-png","_type":"reference"}}},"showFeedbackForm":true,"sidebarPosts":[{"_key":"0916b5c197fd","_ref":"6f4bac72-ed82-47ff-9155-aa2a02fb1833","_type":"reference"}],"sidebarTitle":"Helpful Information","slug":{"_type":"slug","current":"brads-story"},"title":"Brad’s story: A dad’s experience of anxiety in the postnatal period ","id":"-a7997b2f-0d72-52ef-99b2-ce82fc12867e","children":[],"internal":{"type":"SanityStory","contentDigest":"4361094a3ababcce8d96eb6b5419c53e","owner":"gatsby-source-sanity","counter":1349},"parent":null},"linkType":"internal"},"style":"box","text":"Read Brad's story"}]},{"_key":"c45d2aa794a8","_type":"textImage","include":true,"background":null,"contentOrder":"imageFirst","eyebrow":"Perinatal anxiety and depression in dads","headline":"Signs and symptoms","image":{"asset":{"_id":"image-97b752f960c2bc804c10de10d1ef774538d10d41-1200x630-jpg"},"crop":null,"hotspot":null,"alt":null,"caption":null},"text":[{"_key":"0ce0eff74057","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"ee618680e9f9","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Dads can experience anxiety and depression symptoms during pregnancy and after their baby is born too. "}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"d12529198aa8","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"23fc496c98090","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"This is nothing to be ashamed of, as postnatal mental health concerns are common, affecting up to 1 in 10 expecting and new dads."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"26e54dbd8b85","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"cae456647e51","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"We know that everyone experiences antenatal anxiety and depression differently. Learn about the emotional, behavioural, and physical signs and symptoms that you might notice. 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The way it can affect you depends on a range of factors, from your own physical, emotional and mental makeup to external factors that might be having an impact."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"bd71282a7605","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"dacc1a2ae3420","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"There are also different degrees of perinatal mental health. Some people experience milder symptoms of antenatal anxiety or depression, while others have more severe symptoms. If it is affecting your ability to enjoy the perinatal period or impacting your ability to function, it’s a good idea to reach out for help."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"}],"title":"What are the symptoms of perinatal depression and anxiety for dads? 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I found myself spending the first month of his life living in hospital and caring for him fulltime while his mother recovered."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"f2e07a398f15","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"bba826862ff80","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"This had a huge impact on our relationship. We had been together for 7 years and shared some amazing moments, but it all changed after the birth. We both struggled with the situation. I wasn’t prepared to care for Archie full-time."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"317609a1c420","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"5ac81b0af22e0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I am naturally a very social being, but I found myself becoming more and more isolated. I stopped going out or connecting with friends. 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The nature of the situation meant that our relationship broke down and we decided to separate 3 months after having Archie."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c66679cbe37c","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"d5b2852742fd0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I then had to figure out not only how to be a parent, but also how to be a part-time parent."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"658cef9d18fc","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"67992aa799690","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Having ADHD and lots of internal monologue, I couldn’t ever \"switch off\". I was constantly judging myself and comparing myself to friends who managed to make their relationship work and wondering why I couldn’t. I wondered would I be a great dad? Will Archie resent me like I did my dad? It was the toughest time I've faced in my life."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2eff3e4b85d3","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"cae7e4bcf6320","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Seeking help"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"50abb1e09c1b","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"51239d71efd50","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"My sister encouraged me to seek help and by having open and honest conversations with her about how I felt, I could get thoughts out of my head. She was my saving grace because she heard me, validated my feelings, and assured me that things would get better. And they did."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"5305ca39722b","_type":"quote","quote":"I was able to have those hard conversations - the ones where I could cry and have someone hug me and tell me it would be okay."},{"_key":"f30e61eac6a7","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"e2c1c31516e10","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"My sister had a not-so-great birth, and she is such an amazing mum to my nephews. Seeing how it worked out for her reassured me that I still am a great man, and a great dad. It was the situation and not me as a person."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"962bc6a7c3ea","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"efad988570600","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Sometimes it doesn't matter what people say, it’s about how you perceive yourself. It was great to know I had support from people that genuinely loved and cared about me, but I needed to give that love to myself. To not be harsh and critical and to understand that these inconveniences in life are part of a bigger picture. These times helped me build an unbelievable amount of resilience, a new lens and a love for myself and the unique qualities I possess."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"7acec45c3ea5","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"9a259eef97110","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Although I don’t get to see my son as much as I would if I was a full-time dad, I don’t take for granted the time we have together and I know in my heart that I am a phenomenal dad, with a soft, gentle, and accepting heart. My love for him is unconditional, regardless of anything he chooses to become in life -something I wished for every night as a child."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"a97dc717a785","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"4af70406ab5a0","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Reflecting now, being able to get through the tough time in my life, and still managing to show up with a smile on my face and faith that I will be okay has helped me more than anything else ever has. Each time I speak honestly and openly, in all parts of my life, I become a better person and better father to Archie."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"c9cba8fdee96","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"241d083eedd40","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"Ongoing support of mental health"}],"markDefs":[],"style":"h3"},{"_key":"7cce3ce75f3e","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"a76e98fe95490","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"To support my mental health, I use physical activity. When I feel anxious or trapped in my thoughts, I go for a run, or a walk. I concentrate on my breathing and being in the present."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"2b05ebde65a0","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"1797675d55d40","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"A great technique to ground myself is saying out loud 5 things I can see, like a kookaburra in a tree, 4 things I can hear, a siren in the distance, and 3 things I can touch like running my hand along a fence. I quite often talk to myself in my head and these techniques take me away from those thoughts of the past and the future, and back to being in the here and now."}],"markDefs":[],"style":"normal"},{"_key":"976c6933dbda","_type":"block","children":[{"_key":"74cbaec49a090","_type":"span","marks":[],"text":"I like to have routine, structure, and discipline. When all else fails, I go back to the basics. I go to bed at 10:30, get up at 7am, cook my dinners, and do a minimum of30-minutes exercise a day. 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